My Crunchy Zen Era

Starting Stand-Up at 45: Why It’s Never Too Late To Try Something New with Tara Brown

• Nicole Swisher • Episode 14

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Can You Start Stand-Up in Your 40s? Tara Brown Did—And It Changed Everything

In this episode of My Crunchy Zen Era, we sit down with comedian Tara Brown, who first tried standup comedy at 45 and ended up leaving her corporate PR job to become a stand-up comic. Her story is about starting late, staying true to yourself, and finding real success through connection, not clout.

We talk about:
 1. Taking a big creative leap later in life
 2. Building a comedy career without going blue
 3. The power of mentorship & community in stand-up
 4. Redefining success as impact, not fame
 5. How a corporate background can fuel creative work

Tara shares her fall-off-the-stage moment (literally), the accidental Kill Tony set that changed how she writes, and the fan encounter that redefined her “why.”

If you’ve ever wondered if it’s too late to try something new—or if you can do it without burning out or selling out—this one’s for you.

Subscribe now and join this exploration of what it means to live a happy life in an increasingly complicated world.

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SPEAKER_01:

What is something crunchier than that you've done lately?

SPEAKER_04:

You know what I do every night is I listen to meditation music to go to sleep. Oh, where do you listen? SuperZen. So there's an app called Insight Timer. And they have all of these great uh sounds. You can listen to you got white noise, you got water, you got campfire and all this stuff. So I love water. So I'm always listening to some water to sort of put me out. And it's it feels good. SuperZen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

When I um my mom and I, you know, we're in Scotland and we stayed in like a dorm room. Oh and I was like, mom, like I have got to have something on like white noise. And I was like, turned it way up on my phone, and she was like, turn it down. I was like, okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_04:

She's not a white noise person.

SPEAKER_01:

I guess not.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. She's probably just I found when I've shared a room with my mom, if we've gone away, and I put because I sleep with this thing every night. If I put it on, she's she's goes to sleep before I do.

unknown:

That's nice.

SPEAKER_01:

Actually, she fell asleep way before I was like, I'm telling you, so she didn't think she liked it, but she liked it.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to my Crunchy Zen Era. We're a weekly podcast filled with a little fun, a little humor, and a whole lot of curiosity. I'm your host, Nicole Swisher, and this week I am joined by comedian Tara Brown.

SPEAKER_04:

Hey, Nicole. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_04:

Of course, of course.

SPEAKER_01:

If you could relive any memory, what would it be and why?

SPEAKER_04:

Anything that involves my grandfather. My grandfather passed away in uh uh 1999, and he was my best friend and biggest fan and supporter, and all the memories I have with him are fantastic. And there's this great memory we shared once. He was a super positive person. Like he entered every single room uh and saying peace and love, like peace and love. And so once he got invited to um speak at uh uh a retirement community because he was so positive, and so he said, Come with me to this place. So I went with him and I'm in the back of the room and I'm watching him be amazing. And at one point he goes, and that's my granddaughter in the back of the room. She's not only my granddaughter, she's my best friend, and I melted because I loved him so much and to know that he loved me like that. So any memory with him, I don't care what it is, that's what I would want to relive. And he never got to see me do comedy, which is one of the biggest regrets of my life. He would love this.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. So how much public speaking did he do?

SPEAKER_04:

Like he didn't, he just was naturally funny, naturally curious, he was extremely intelligent, and he just was he was any room he walked into, he was the moment, you know, and he was everything, everyone loved him. And um when he passed away, it was really hard for everybody because he just was the life of the party, and he was just an amazing person. So any memory that involves him, I don't care what it is, is what I would want to relive.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. Um, can you tell me a little bit about where you're at in your career right now?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, I uh perform stand-up comedy, as you know. I've been doing it now for the past 11 years. I am uh clean comic, so it affords me opportunities to work in a lot of different spaces. Uh and um right now I'm doing a lot of cruise work, which is fun. So I get to perform comedy on cruise ships, which is really, really nice. And you get to meet a lot of people and go a lot of places. And so someone said to me, How do you like doing it? I said, I get to perform, make people laugh, get paid for, and travel the world for free. It does not suck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh most recently, where did you go?

SPEAKER_04:

Alaska and Canada. I've been to Alaska a lot this year. Alaska and Canada. I just got back from my sixth trip there this year. And if you have not visited Alaska, I encourage you to do so. It is so breathtakingly gorgeous. If you're a seafood eater, really go. Because there's nothing better than getting Alaskan King Crab legs in Alaska. Yeah. But the food is, it feels like they take the seafood out of the water and put it on your plate. But I've had an amazing time. So everything up there is pretty seasonal. So uh it's interesting. You get a lot of people uh who will work there for now, and then and I think they said probably less than 10 days, they'll be shut down for the season. So I was happy to go back for the last time. And it's funny, uh, I go a lot to Ketchikan, Alaska, and there's a restaurant I like there called Ketchikan Crab and Go. And the waitress said, You're like our only regular, everyone else on tourists, so it's fun. So just got back from there and um home for a little bit, and I head back out in a couple of weeks to Hawaii. So yeah.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Is there anything that's like a little uncomfortable, weird, or weird about doing comedy on a on a ship that's different than like if you were at Zany's or something?

SPEAKER_04:

I think you lose a bit of anonymity. Um, I would say my one of my favorite times to be on the ship is the first night I'm there and I've not performed because no one knows who I am. And so after I've gotten off stage, it it's a good problem to have, you know. Yeah, people want to talk to engage and whatever. And you I was sitting having a meal by myself, and one woman goes, Do people tell you jokes all the time? I said, They do. She said, Okay. And then she sat down. I said, Oh, you're sitting, okay. So you lose a bit of anonymity, but like I said, it's a good problem to have. So I'm grateful.

SPEAKER_01:

And before you started the cruise ships, what what was your life like doing comedy full-time?

SPEAKER_04:

Um, it's you know, it's a challenge. Comedy, when you make the decision, I left I made the decision to leave my corporate job two years ago. I had a background in communications. I was a PR professional for uh a cable television network. And my whole career I've spent working in communications, uh, worked in uh book publishing and then cable television. And I made the decision to uh leave a nice salary and some benefits to do this full time. And, you know, it's it's a grind. It's not easy, and uh it's a challenge. So just finding the work and and just kind of consistently working, I'm grateful that uh because like I said, I work clean, I get to do a lot of corporate and uh private and churches and different things. So uh it's been busy and it's been a grind.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And I mean, did you other than a steady salary and stuff like that, was there anything else that when you started full-time comedy, you had to grieve a little bit and how your life changed?

SPEAKER_04:

I never know what day it is. And like I almost never know what day it is. Like, you know when you go to work and people say, Oh, it's Monday. It's like, oh, is it Monday? Like, I don't that's kind of funny, and it's just like, okay. Um, you know, uh time is is an interesting thing. You know, I uh it's funny when I was uh on a ship, I did a podcast interview with one of the entertainers, and he said, Let's meet at eight. And I was like, comedians don't get up at eight. You know what I mean? So, you know, when you're you're working a nine-to-five job, you're more on a structured schedule. Yeah. And I think my schedule, that's another thing. The schedule has been very different. And so that's something I had to get used to. And I travel a lot, and so I'm in airports, and you know, when I'm on land, I tend to be on the road a lot. And so getting used to a different travel schedule and not have that structure of okay, you get up at this time, you shower, you go to work, you know, come back. So that's been an adjustment. Again, good one to have. Good problem to have. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So did you travel much before you got into comedy?

SPEAKER_04:

I did because by nature of what I did for in my professional life, I traveled a lot. I was a I did PR. So I worked uh PR in book publishing at Penguin Books and HarperCollins, and then in television for cable television and independent cable television network. So by virtue of doing PR, I traveled a lot. The cool thing is that when I was doing stand-up and still working at my old job, I uh would always, when I traveled for work, I would always build in some time for me to do an open mic in that city, which was really cool. Which I'm I ironically enough is how I ended up doing Kill Tony in LA. I accidentally did Kill Tony.

SPEAKER_01:

I did not know you did Kill Tony.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, it was it was really funny because I was going to LA for a work trip and I called ahead to the comedy store and I was like, Do you guys have an open mic? And they said yes. And they said, You're more likely to get picked if you write that you're from out of town. I said, okay. So I go there, and there were so many people signing up for this open mic list. It was insane. And so I signed this paper, and then the guy comes out, he grabs the paper, but not the one I signed. And I said, Wait, what just happened? And he put the list up, and I knew I wasn't gonna be on it because I didn't sign the paper. And so afterwards I said to somebody, I said, What paper did I sign? And they said, You sound you signed the Kill Tony list. And I didn't have no idea what Kill Tony was at the time. And I said, What is that? And the guy explained to me what it was. So I'm thinking, I don't want to get called for this, right? So I go in, I was like, I'm just gonna watch. And they say, First up, it says she's from out of town. I was like, no. But I it was great. Were you the first one? I went the I was the first one up, and he was great. The panel I had was fantastic. They were really sweet and nice, and they gave me really good feedback, and they were really nice. And I I did well, thankfully.

SPEAKER_01:

How long ago was that?

SPEAKER_04:

Golly gee. Uh I would have to look that up, but I don't even remember. But if you Google my name in Kill Tony, it'll probably pop up.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, I was gonna say, can we Google it?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, you probably could, but it had to have been maybe eight or nine years ago for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

So that was pretty early.

SPEAKER_04:

Right, because like I said, I had no concept of what the show was. Yeah. And when I never forget the guy said to me, You do a minute worth of material, but if you're bad, they'll really give it to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. No pressure.

SPEAKER_04:

No pressure, and I was first, so but it was fun.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow.

SPEAKER_04:

And then you have to think in that moment, like, what joke do I have that's only a minute long? And I had one. And it's funny because there was another young lady on the show, and she was doing her her joke, and she kept saying, How much more time do I have? How much more time do I have? And they ate her alive.

SPEAKER_01:

You have a minute, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

They ate her alive, and I was like, ooh. So I was really early on doing stand-up when I did that. So that's kind of funny. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

What an interesting story. I know, right? So you didn't know that. But you knew everything.

SPEAKER_04:

So that's what life was like. I did travel a lot because, like I said, by virtue of being a PR person, I traveled a lot.

SPEAKER_01:

Did you find that that background helped you maybe get into um full-time comedy faster? I mean, it feels faster to me than some people I know.

SPEAKER_04:

I don't know about faster. The interesting thing, and I say this because I do public speaking as well. Um I say this in in a talk I give. When you're a PR professional, your role is to elevate other people, right? So I'm accustomed to promoting. If you're my client, I promote you. I'm not accustomed to being the person in front. Uh oh. So it was a very weird thing for me to be like, oh, it's me, you know. So, but I don't know if I got there quicker, but I just think by being a communications professional, I think it did help me communicate better.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That makes sense. And I mean, you started comedy a little later than maybe we think people do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What prompted that?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, it was funny. I was um back in uh, like I said, I was doing comedy at a cable television network. And um, this particular network, they did a lot of acquired content. So uh, you know, like Little House on the Prairie and the Waltons and that kind of thing. So you can't get pressed for shows that have been off the air for 50 years. So I basically was I didn't have a lot to do at the time, let's just say, right? So, and I'm accustomed to being very busy. I'm a New Yorker. I I just I'm I'm always moving. And so it's it was very foreign for me to just, you know, people like enjoy it. I'm like, I like being busy. And so this is when I knew it was gonna be a challenge. So I was in my office one day and it was two o'clock, and I said, I gotta move around. So I got out, I talked to the department assistant, I went to the ladies' room, I came back, I talked to the department assistant again, and I went back in my office and it was 2.05, and I was like, I'm gonna die here. And so I Googled things to do in Charlotte, where I was living at the time, and comedy class popped up. And I was like, hmm, you know, uh maybe. And I took a six-week class at the comedy zone, and uh the rest of they say was history, and I was 45 years old at the time, 56 now. So I'm you know, it was really cool to start something uh later in life like that, and that's why I'm a big proponent of um helping people, reminding people it's never too late to start something if you want to do it.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, was it totally just you see comedy show up, or had that ever been on your mind?

SPEAKER_04:

Never like okay, never. It's funny when people say you're doing the thing you've always wanted to do, I was like, not really. Kind of fell into comedy. I it wasn't one of those things like I always thought I should be a comedian. But as I mentioned, my grandfather earlier, my grandfather was ridiculously funny, like just naturally funny, and my mom is really funny, so I get it pretty honestly. So it it's it feels right, yeah, but it wasn't something I pursued or thought, oh, one day I'd I I'd like to try comedy.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. And when you were in the class, did did you think I'm gonna keep doing this, or was it more like, well, this is fun, so maybe I'll just like go to an open mic or something?

SPEAKER_04:

You know, for me, I'm one of those type of people. If I do something, I'm gonna see it through. I'm not, you know, there were people in my class who took the class for different reasons. There were some who really wanted to pursue stand-up. There's some who wanted to get better at public speaking, you know, that sort of thing. And I'm the only one left out of my class who's still doing it. Okay. And so I always I never went in thinking, oh, this is cute. Oh, you know. I was like, okay, I'm in it, you know, and I'll do it. A funny thing happened along the way, though. I was doing it when I started out as a hobby, something else to do. But what was really cool along the way is I started getting these great opportunities, and um it became like a second full-time job. Yeah. So then I had to make a decision, which I made two years ago, to say, okay, let's let's give this a go. If we're gonna do this, let's just give this a go. And here we are.

SPEAKER_01:

And it was what were people's reactions in your life when you tried it for the first time?

SPEAKER_04:

It did not seem unnatural to people. They say, Yeah, I I could see that. I think I've been so incredibly blessed with support. Like, I I do not take for granted the support I get. Like, the funny thing about me, I, as I mentioned, I'm a New Yorker, so I did not drive. Like, and people think that's the funniest thing, but like in New York, you don't need to drive, right? Take buses somewhere. So when I moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, it was the first time I had a license, right? And I moved there in 2003. So that was just the craziest thing to people. And so when I got into stand-up, again, I just started driving, and I had all these rules about driving. I don't drive at night, I don't drive in the rain, I don't drive on the highway. Like I had all of these rules.

SPEAKER_01:

I think you still have some of those rules.

SPEAKER_04:

I've relaxed them a lot. I've relaxed them a lot because now I drive to Florida in places. So trust me, the Lord has really relaxed me on some of those. But so the funniest thing is when I started doing stand-up, I had a really bad habit of accepting gigs out of town and not knowing how I was gonna get there. So then I would, you know, email some of my close friends and uh my life group, and they would I'd say, Hey, I have a show here, and they're like, All right, we'll drive you. So it was so I'm grateful. And it's funny because I remember having a run in Columbus, Georgia, and Fort Walton Beach, Florida. And this is when I lived in Charlotte, and two of my good girlfriends were like, All right, we'll take you. And um they put me up, the booker put me up at like a Super Eight motel, which, oh my gosh. And so, which I am a hotel snob, so this was so, but I'm like, I guess this is a part of paying your dues. And so the three of us trying to stay in this one room at a super eight, and they dropped me off to the show. They're like, we're gonna clean and fumigate the room, and then we'll pick you up when the show was over. So I I'm grateful that I've had that level of support. And then over time, I was just like, and it became a running joke when people would see me show up at places at night. They're like, Who bought you? I was in control of myself. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's I mean, that's just interesting because when I started Stand Up, yeah, people were very surprised. That was not something anyone expected me to do. But then I had a lot of support with my friends as well, and they would like show up, and I remember producers or anybody on the show were like, wow, like your friends come. And to me, I'm like, of course they come. Like I've built these friendships.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And I don't know if that's something like I mean, I was 34, I think, when I tried stand-up. Yeah. And I feel like I had this community and this base of friends already who were just like, we cheer each other on, so of course we'll show up. And maybe that was a little different.

SPEAKER_04:

I'll tell you this, you know, somebody, I don't even remember who told me this early on when I actually one of the people who taught me stand up said, be careful how you lean on your friends and family because you don't want to wear them out. And I found that to be very true. Like I was very sensitive to like if I had to go to shows, I wouldn't ask the same people all the time. But people want to, when people root for you, they will really go to bat for you and will help you out. So I think people admired what I was doing. And I, you know, as I'm talking to you now, I'm just playing the tape back in my head of so many times. I remember once one of my really good friends, I had a show in Columbia, South Carolina, which is a little bit uh hour outside of Charlotte, and it was raining cats and dogs, and she drove me to that show. And then we get to the show, and I'm sitting there waiting to go on, and I hear a voice in the background says, Really, is that what you're gonna do? And it was my childhood friend I grew up with in Brooklyn, New York, who now lived in Bamberg, South Carolina. And she drove probably about two some odd hours just to see me, and I just started crying. And my friend who drove me from Columbia's like, you know her? I was like, and I couldn't even speak. I was like, I know her, you know, and she was always like a big sister to me. So I again, and to this very day, like I'm so grateful for the level of support I've received for the 11 years I've been doing this.

SPEAKER_01:

I think sometimes you can just be surprised by how much people care. They do, and people do care. They do, yeah. You said you tried stand-up when you were 45 and that you're a proponent of like trying new things. Is that something that you've just decided you want to incorporate in your life, or has it just been something that's there?

SPEAKER_04:

One time I took drum lessons because I love Shelley. Like I just took that's the coolest thing to see like women drummers. So I took like a drum class because I would and I was like, granted, I'm no Shella E, but it was so fun to just do, you know what I mean? I'm like, I I didn't think I was gonna be a musician, but I wanted to do it because it was gonna be fun. I think this is the one thing I did kind of on a whim that I'm like, oh, this is working out. Yeah this is a thing. And so I'm grateful about have I taken more risks outside of that? I don't think that I have. I think this requires so much work that I I want to nurture this and just be better at it. And um, that's the thing, you can always be better. And as you know, you learn more about yourself after every performance, and yeah, and that's really the cool part. And um, so for me, my mind is always working about how do you make this thing funny, you know? And um, like I posted something on Facebook the other day. I was waiting at um the coffee bar in the ship, and an older white gentleman said to me, Hey Tara, we're playing cards, lady. You want to play? And I said, Yeah, what are you playing? He goes, spades. And I was like, I'd never known a white person to play spades. And I said, I'm sorry, did you say spades? And it was so funny to me. I was like, so I go back to my cabin, I was like, I gotta write this out. Like, I gotta figure this out. But um, so it's just like you can find humor in everything. So I want to nurture this gift so much that I haven't picked up a new thing, like, oh, let's try this now. No, this is this is my thing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I once had somebody say to me, because I I mean, I I think I've tried a lot of new things over the course of my life. And I think some of it was like, I just didn't know what what my interests were exactly. And I remember this really stuck with me because it bothered me. Somebody in my early 20s told me, like, you have to just like choose something or you're never gonna be good at anything. And I actually strongly disagree with that to a certain to a certain extent, because like how do you know what you enjoy or what you're going to be good at if you're just like, well, I started this in high school and now I went to college and this is what I'm supposed to do. If you aren't Googling things to do and just like trying something, but I do agree with you that you get to a certain point of like if you find something you want to commit to and you love it and you're passionate about it, if you are letting your time go to a hundred different things, you're never gonna become an expert in something.

SPEAKER_04:

I agree with that. You know, it's funny. Years ago, um at my last job, we had a lunch and learn type thing with a woman who was I guess she could be considered a life coach. And she was really great about just talking to people about like what they're supposed to be doing in life. And I've never been that person that felt like this is what I'm supposed to be doing, this is it. And I always admire people who know, right? Yeah, like I have a nephew, and my nephew, from the time he could talk, said, Auntie Tara, I'm gonna be a doctor. Like Auntie Tara, I'm gonna be a doctor. He is a doctor today. Like, and I tell him all the time, and he thinks it's weird when I say, I say, you're the only person in the history of my life who I know who said they were gonna do something, and they the thing they did like Auntie Tara, I'm gonna be a doctor. He is a doctor now, you know. But back to this life coach, she was telling people, and I I was sitting in the room thinking, geez, I don't know what I want to do. Like, I admire all of my coworkers around me because they seem to have it figured out. So finally we we took a we had a break and I kind of went off to the side because I didn't want to ask a question in front of everyone. And I said, How do you know when you're doing the thing you're supposed to be doing? And then she stopped the break and said, Everyone, Tara, ask me a question. I think it's important for everybody. And I was like, oh gosh. She goes, She asked me, How do you know when you're doing the thing you're supposed to be doing? And her answer to me was, when you're doing the thing you're supposed to be doing, everything you have done up until that point will have made sense. And she's right. And I thought that was so spot on. Because it's just like when you asked me about, you know, has my work in communications impacted the pe um the comedy, and I was like, it has. So it's just interesting because I never thought about it when she said that. But as I look back, I was like, this all makes sense now.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, okay. I've never heard someone say that. Huh? I've never heard anyone say that before. So I'm now I'm thinking through my own life. I know, right?

SPEAKER_04:

She's like, you know, and it's just like a lot of times when we have hard things happen, it's just like we hate that they have to happen, but it's just like it was necessary to get us to the next point. Very kind of wax on, wax off, Mr. Miyaki type stuff, you know. It's just like, why am I doing this? But when you get on the other side of things, sometimes it makes more sense. Yeah. You know, I never forget, and it's not to bring the room down, um, the uh Hall of Fame football coach Tony Dungey. Um, his son, unfortunately, had taken his life. And I remember there was a quote from his sister. And I think the young man, and please forgive me if I get this wrong, I think he might have been 18 or something like time, or 17 or something like that. And I remember there was a quote from the sister that said, I wish he'd just suck around to be 19, because sometimes things make more sense to you. And and I that just crushed me because yeah, sometimes when you're in the moment, you don't see uh why things are happening. But then when you get on the side, you say, Oh, okay, that needed to happen for me to get here.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, no, I I would definitely agree with that. And I mean, I think it everything kind of works together.

SPEAKER_04:

It totally does.

SPEAKER_01:

But you can't see that because you're until you can take a step outside your story and kind of like see the plot a little bit better.

SPEAKER_04:

And you think about with comedy, comedy is an interesting thing in and of itself because as much as you don't want to, you all play the comparison game.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

You know, it's just like never. I know, right? Never do that. That's why you get off social media for like weeks at times. But um, but you know, when you're on social media, you're seeing someone's best self, right? They got this opportunity, that opportunity, and you're like, no one called me for that, you know. Um, but you don't know what they had to do to get to that opportunity. Like I tell one time I did a video. Um, I was driving from uh Nashville to Charlotte for a show, and I stopped and did a video when I stopped at Bucky's, gotta stop at Bucky's. And I said, This isn't the pretty part of comedy, right? Like you see the stuff on stage, what you don't see is me having to get up at five o'clock in the morning to go drive seven hours, you know, to do the show. This is this is the grind of it. So a lot of times you can get focused on, you know, oh, this person is this, but everybody gets their turn. And you clap for people when it's their turn because you want people to clap for you when it's your turn.

SPEAKER_01:

Is there anything you'd say you've like learned about yourself through becoming a full-time comedian that you find surprising?

SPEAKER_04:

That's a really good question. What have I learned about myself? Um, to give myself grace. I never forget, matter of fact, that Fort Bal Fort Walton Beach, Georgia run I was telling you about earlier. The Georgia show was in Columbus, Georgia, and I didn't have my best set. It was not great. And I remember thinking, God, and I just lamented over it so much, so much so I was featuring. So the headline I kept going on and on about like, how come I couldn't get him? And I guess he got tired of hearing from me. And he said, Do me a favor, when we walk out this venue, leave that here. And I said, You know what? He's right. So to give myself more grace, like if a show does not go as great as I hope it would, just know there's another one. And then I'll never forget, and I tell the story all the time. Once when I was in Charlotte, I was in uh a comedy festival, and I had what could be the visual representation of the book, Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Because I left my house, um, got to the parking garage, realized I did not, and went to go pay for parking, realized I left my wallet home. So I was like, oh my gosh, I had to call my friend, she paid for parking, get to the venue, get on, do the show. We had like three people in the room. They had set the room up so dark I couldn't see, so I fell off the stage. Like off the stage. And it was funny because I had my good friend taping the show. And the only thing I could think as I'm tumbling in the front row is please God, let him have stopped the tape. Right. And so when I got to the tape, and I watched it, he had stopped it. But I fell off the stage, got back in my car, accidentally jumped on the highway at night. And now these were in the early days of the rules, broke all my rules. And I remember going home and I'm like, I'm not coming back out the house ever again in life. And I had a show at the same venue the next day, and I was like, I'm not going. People saw me fall, it was bad, but I'm like, this is not life. You know what I mean? What life is is that you have these moments, you dust yourself off, you learn from it, and you go back. And next day I didn't fall off the stage, I remembered my wallet, I didn't get on the house, like you know what I mean. So just giving yourself grace and just and permission to say, okay, this might not have been the way you want it, but you're still okay. You're here for a reason. You know, one of the things I have I think about this and it makes me emotional. I was on a ship once and um I was performing, and the lady had her back to me, and I couldn't quite understand what that was, but then I realized she was signing my show for someone who was hearing impaired in the audience. So when I realized what she's doing, I, you know, I slowed down and enunciated my words, right? And at one point I saw the woman who she was signing for laugh, and I had to look away because I almost started crying because I thought I said something that made this woman laugh. You know, like she couldn't hear it, but it was translated to her in the mail, and I was just like, what an amazing gift. So those moments far outweigh falling off stages, and hopefully I'm not falling.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, something you maybe would never have thought of early on in your career, and you're like, now I know. Yeah, now I know.

SPEAKER_04:

I know what I was like, where's the stage? So I've talked about it on stage now. You have? Do you have a joke about it? Oh, yeah. Okay. You make a joke about everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Like, I don't think I've heard that. Also, like, at least it's not online somewhere, right?

SPEAKER_04:

I don't think it is. I don't know. Me falling. No, thank God, no.

SPEAKER_01:

He stopped the tape.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Have you found that like your definition of success has changed over the years? The more experienced you get?

SPEAKER_04:

I don't success. That's a really good question. Because what does success mean for you, right? Right. Yes, it has changed because I think when you think success, you think you know, money and fame and those things would be nice. But you know what? Success is when I'm building my time. Like I the thing when you're on ships, you have to have a lot of material, right? And I'm I'm successfully building time. I'm successfully building funny jokes that are landing with the audience. I'm successfully, you know, having impact on people because the thing that makes my heart leap for joy. When you're on the ships, you have um PG shows and you have R-rated shows. Do you do R-In's R-rated material? So I do not do R-rated material. So if you know me, you know you will not find vulgarity or profanity at my show. You'll get innuendo, but you won't get that. The first ship I did, my phone bill was so expensive because I spent the whole time texting and calling my mom, like they're gonna hate me because I don't do this. But what has been wonderful, every single ship, I get no less than three to five people say to me, Thank you for being funny without being vulgar. So it empowers me to want to continue to just do that. So that's success for me.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So it looks it means different. And listen, I'll take the fame and the money. I will. But right now, the success is knowing that I'm having impact and I'm getting better. Because I always want to be better.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think some of the most memorable experiences for me as a stand-up are not the shows where I remember doing really well or anything. Like I honestly, I thought I would remember things like that. I actually don't so much. But I do remember individual people who specifically women would come up to me afterward and say, I related to this joke, I related to this joke. And like one woman, this was within like my first two months of doing stand-up, so I know I wasn't killing it. Um, but I remember her coming up afterward and saying, Where can I see you next? Because I want my daughter to come see you. Wow, like I just remember that. That's good, that's half praise right there. Yeah, it's just so different.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I I love that. Oh my goodness, that makes you it it's interesting um because I I so relate to that. I did uh uh a show for a charity event. I don't even know if it was early. Again, I have no sense of days. It might have been early this year, it could have been last year, but um after the show, and I was this was back in Charlotte where I lived, and um a woman came up to me and she gave me a hug and she said, You know, I saw you before, and I said, You did. She said, The day I saw you was probably the worst day of my life. Like she got some really bad news, and she said, The last thing I wanted to do was come to a comedy show, but my friends dragged me to that show, and you made me feel so much better. And I hugged her, and we're crying, I'm crying, she's crying. But that impact and you mentioned about daughters I was on a ship, uh this was last year, and it was a mother and a daughter who kept coming to my show, and the daughter looked to be in her 20s, but I noticed every time the mom would talk, so it made me think the daughter may have been nonverbal. And um they came to all my shows, and some of my shows were repeats, and they came to repeat. And so they said, Well, come tomorrow. I said, You've seen that show, and I said, No, we're still coming. And when I tell you they came to every show. So the last show, the mom comes up to me and said, My daughter made you this and wondered if you'd wear it. So it's this cute little bracelet, and I'm like, I'm gonna wear it every day. Are you kidding? Because it reminds me of the impact you have. Like, it could be just writing a joke to you, but you don't know what it can mean. And so when I was like, When that lady in Charlotte told me, like, I didn't know that she was having that moment, but yeah, I thank God for using me to be a blessing to her that it helped her out that day.

SPEAKER_01:

I I also know just from knowing you that you care a lot about mentoring other women in comedy.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, yes. I that was very important to me. When I was in Charlotte, they affectionately called me the godmother of Charlotte comedy, which I I wore that very seriously because I knew what it was like when I came up in stand up. I remember coming up in stand up, and there were two women who were kind of above me. And I would have loved for them to say, hey, come on in with Shade Robs. And I had the opportunity to tell one of them that recently, not too long ago. I said, you know, when I came up, like you, you didn't kind of embrace me. And I really wish you would have. And she said, I'm really sorry. But she had her own thing going on, so I don't blame them. But that's one of those things that when it happens to you, you don't want it to happen to someone else. So when I was in Charlotte specifically, I was just like, I made a point of just like trying to support the women, go to your shows. And I remember when I was leaving, I was moving away, and I said to one girl, I said, I want to apologize to you because I didn't get out to as many of your shows as I'd like. And she looked at me like I was crazy. I said, No, it's important in me to try to come out and support. And she looked at me again, and I was like, it doesn't mean anything to you, but it meant something to me. And I'll never forget when I first started doing stand-up, and when you're doing comedy can be very clickish, as we know. And I remember being in uh the comedy zone in the club, and I was sitting by myself, everyone was off in their little sets, and no one talked to me. And a comedian, a veteran comedian, sat at the table I was sitting at and said, My name is Deacon, what's your name? And I never forgot that. I used to tell him that I said, Dick and remake is a terror, I don't remember that. But that moment stayed with me. That so now when I see someone who I feel is to themselves or whatever, I'm like, hey, you want to sit together or whatever? Because I know what it feels like to not feel a part of something, and I never want anybody to feel like that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I I mean the courage I think it takes to even show up to an open mic to try something or to say yes to a show, and then you go and you feel kind of like nobody's trying to make everyone's like avoiding eye contact, and so it it really matters when someone just like uh notices you as a human, like walks up in any setting.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, but there was a a female comedian once and I've seen her at a few open mics, and this was when I lived in Charlotte, and I saw at a few open mics, and she had this opening joke uh she would do where she said, I know you all hate me because I'm pretty. And I saw her do that a few times, and I look at the women in the audience and they're like, you know, so probably after about the fourth or fifth time, I said, Hey, let's chat for a second, and you know, and I I lovingly I said, Can I offer you some feedback? And she she was very receptive to I said, because here's what you've done, you've lost all the women. I said, You've literally lost all the women in the and they wanted if they wanted to like you, they don't like you now, you know. And so she received it, and so it was good recently, and I won't say a name, I gave feedback to a comic here. It wasn't a female comic, but I noticed he was doing something that instantly you're gonna lose half the room if you do it. And he was I'm grateful that he was very receptive to it. And so it was funny because when I saw him do that joke the next time, I noticed the tweaks he made. I said, There you go.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. I mean, because that moment you walk on stage, the first thing out of your mouth can just make or break your set.

SPEAKER_04:

An audience decides, we we all learn this. The audience decides within the first few seconds whether or not they like you. So if you come out hot and it's just like, hmm. But so even if your set is not that strong, but when you first get on stage, you're like, we like her. Yeah. We're gonna give her a little bit, we'll give we'll give her a couple of minutes, you know. But if you come out and you're not, I remember once going to a show and I watched a guy, and this this was insane. And he insulted the room, half the room, then they just weren't looking at him, and he turned his back to them and like did the show to the other half of the room. I was like, Yeah, and I was like, she's like, you know, things not to do in common, you know. That's so interesting. But again, we learn about ourselves with every opportunity. I think be open to feedback, constructive feedback. But then you also have to know when feedback is not for you. Like I remember once a comedian said to me, You need to be more animated on stage. That's not my vibe. So I thankfully, I said thank you. So you have to chew the meat and spit off the bones. What's for you is for you, but then a lot of time feedback is not necessarily, you know, depending on who you get it from, it's not always warranted. Again, it's just where is it coming from, right? And and that I'm open to uh I remember doing uh a joke at New Material Night at Zany's and it did not land. And I remember, and and a veteran comedian who I respect a lot said, you know, Tara, sometimes the joke doesn't need to be that long. And I said, you know what, he's right. And so when I went back and looked at and I cut it, and that's actually what I've been doing a lot on ships, like sometimes I have these long jokes, so I'm like, it doesn't need to be that long. And I never forgot that feedback because he was absolutely right. Because it's like you think it needs to be this big grandiose thing, and it doesn't. And um, so again, it's dependent on where the feedback is coming from. And if it makes sense for you, just because someone gives you feedback, you don't necess doesn't necessarily mean you need to take it, you just very be very polite, thank you so much, and just like okay, it's not for me, but thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

I would be remiss if I didn't share how we met. Yes. Um, it was at the winery show out in I think it was Del Monico.

SPEAKER_04:

Del Monico Winery, great room.

SPEAKER_01:

It was my second show, and she was that only your second show?

SPEAKER_04:

No way, you did well.

SPEAKER_01:

He had no idea. So really, yeah. Somebody had like Mary, our our friend Marianna. She'd had to drop out due to some health reasons. We actually mentioned it on the podcast a long time ago now. Um I took her spot, and then literally Sean found out like as I was like walking on stage because he was like, We have a newer comedian, you know, this is like what show is this for you?

SPEAKER_04:

I was like, second, he was like, Oh my gosh, that's funny. You did well at that show though. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

And afterward, you were so kind and said, You're a very good writer, you should keep going. And that really encouraged me. Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that.

SPEAKER_04:

You are, you're very smart, very funny. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, so what are you obsessing over lately, Tara?

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, here's what I'm obsessing over. Okay, I am a police procedural girl. Like, I love a good police procedural, right? Like Chicago PD, my jam. Can't wait for the new season to start. So I have discovered this older police procedure that I'm sorry I missed when it came on called Bosch, which is on Prime Video.

SPEAKER_01:

I've heard of it, but I've never watched it.

SPEAKER_04:

It's so good. And so it's like, I'm I should be embarrassed to say this, but I'm not. I like binge seven seasons of Bosch in two weeks. Like, so good. And the title character, um, the main character, the actor Titus Welliver, I think that's how you pronounce that. He has like this brooding thing that I sew him into. Like, I love that. And so that's why I like Chicago PD, because Hank, you know, whatever, you know. But I'm into the brooding guys, right? So I binge-watched like seven seasons of Bosch in two weeks, and then there's Bosch Legacy.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, there's more than more, right?

SPEAKER_04:

It's like a sequel. So there's like three seasons of Bosch Legacy.

SPEAKER_01:

Is it a sequel or like a spin-off? Like same characters or different things?

SPEAKER_04:

It's a sequel. But what's smart about, and they're based on the Michael Connolly novels. And I used to work and publishing, so all these names are like really kind of cool to know. But anyway, so um, what's cool about the Bosch Legacy, it's like a Bosch universe. So like some of the people who are in the original Bosch show up in Bosch Legacy, and it's kind of really funny. So I just finished the third season of Bosch Legacy, and it's super sad. But wait, there's more. There's a spin-off of Bosch Legacy called Ballard. So that's what I'm obsessing with the whole Bosch universe. So I'm gonna watch Ballard. It won't be a lot of Bosch in it, but we'll see. So that's what I'm obsessing over. Like, like I said, I love a good um police procedural, and Bosch is just filling that cup for me right now.

SPEAKER_01:

That's amazing. Is that your recommendation as well? That's my recommendation as well.

SPEAKER_04:

Like if you like, because you can get so lost in it, and it was just like really good. If you want something, no, I'm not even gonna recommend that because it was so naughty. I was like, I don't even I don't even want that on my resume. No, no, I'm I'm scratched what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_01:

But um I I like I like this recommendation because I see it pop up on Prime and I'm like, I I like so I really like Monk. Did you get it?

SPEAKER_04:

I love Monk. My grandmother and I used to watch Monk together.

SPEAKER_01:

So my mom and I started watching it together when she was here for a while, and because I had never really wanted to watch it before, and then I was like, this is so good.

SPEAKER_04:

Did you watch the movie?

SPEAKER_00:

I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

That was powerful because it had a little bit of a dark twist that you didn't kind of see coming, but it was so powerful. But the message in that though, right? Is like he got to see all of the people who whose he impacted, his work impacted, and that just that imagery just really took me out. But uh, so Bosch is not monk because monk is more sanitized.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, just go. We want you to go into prom video. Like, yeah monk is on cozy TV, so yes, Bosch is on prom video, so it's a little different. But if you love a good, like again, I'm a police procedure girl, but and so you do that. But but I so I'm also excited that all my new shows are coming back. Like again, um FBI. I'm still a little bit bummed that they canceled most wanted international. Um, but Chicago PD. Oh gosh, I love Chicago PD. Yeah. The brooding gods. I love the brooding types.

SPEAKER_01:

Women always do. Exactly. Go for the bad boys. Yeah. Uh well, my recommendation today. Oh, my tablet just fell asleep. Give me one second. I'm like, well, that means I was super into our conversation. Oh, well, thank you.

SPEAKER_04:

No, it means I talked a lot.

SPEAKER_01:

That's great. Um, okay, so I like to listen to Mel Robin's podcast. Ah. She's loving.

SPEAKER_04:

What is what's the the thing to Let Them. Let them. Let them.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, her book Let Them and all the things. I think that is the big thing really with her. Yeah. Um, but she had one recently that I really have enjoyed. It's how to get things done, stay focused, and be more productive. Oh. So this was from September 3rd. And that so one thing I've been kind of reflecting on since being back from Scotland, where I had like all this time to be outside and hike and all this stuff, is where am I putting my time and am I being like intentional about it? Because I feel like I've been overly busy. And what really stuck out to me was this guy was talking about because she was interviewing someone, he's talking about how our society looks at like if you're working, it's the hours of like how many hours and that means you've been productive, versus what are like the actual outcomes and how much time do you really have to put into it to get the outcome that's needed.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. That's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And like as a lawyer, it's like the billable hour.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm a pretty efficient lawyer, which is not necessarily rewarded in law. Um, and so I've really struggled with that because I'm like, I'm getting a great outcome for my client, my client's happy. Isn't that the product that we want? Yeah. But I'm I'm the product. Right. And so it's really challenging to balance that.

SPEAKER_04:

That's good.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm real into this podcast.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm like, gosh. You're like, I need you to get reflective. I need you to do this and far more. Well, you and then wait a minute. The good segue is like, how are you spending your time? Binge watching Bob.

SPEAKER_03:

That was not intentional.

SPEAKER_00:

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, so there's seven seasons, ten episodes a season. I've spent 70 hours watching the police procedure.

SPEAKER_00:

And I defense, I travel a lot, and it's my damn thing that I like to do. Okay, but I like to spend like an entire day just like binging stuff too, just to work clear. I I have I am really into Love is Blind and Oh my god, I can't Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

I feel better.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, like I Okay, yeah, we have time for this. Um okay, so when I go to the sauna on our on my last episode, I actually shared that I was like looking forward to going to the sauna because I'd get to watch the next Love is Blind UK episode. And I did. And there's this guy on there who he instead of saying he follows his heart, yeah, he's like, I follow my spleen. His spleen. I'm like, where is your spleen?

SPEAKER_04:

I was gonna say, Where is your spleen?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't even know. I shouldn't.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01:

And in the last one, he's like, you know, I need to, I just know I need to like trust my spleen, but it's really quiet right now.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, what are we talking about?

SPEAKER_04:

That is so bizarre.

SPEAKER_01:

So this is how partially how I use my time. It's fine. Yeah, it's okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, because I don't feel judged. Oh god. Like in my other defense, I did watch episodes of Botch while I was on the elliptical. So I did get some exercise.

SPEAKER_01:

This is a no judgment zone. I just happened to bring a recommendation that was a little more serious. In the past, I've brought, I don't even know. What I I don't even know. Red bicycle food, it's great. Pizza.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01:

My recommendations.

SPEAKER_04:

Love it, love it, love it.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, Tara, what are you looking forward to this week?

SPEAKER_04:

I am, oh, I'm looking forward to this week. I'm heading to Hilton Head, South Carolina because my church is having their women's retreat, and I get the pleasure of doing comedy. That's amazing. For my church's women's retreat. And um, we have the retreat every other year, and uh two years ago I got to do it. And oddly enough, I want to say this my church, the park church in Charlotte, the way they support it, we talked about support earlier, the support and the love they show me is just unmatched, and I'm grateful. And um, oddly enough, two years ago when I was at the women's retreat, then I had confided to our first lady that I was thinking about leaving my job to do stand-up full time, and she recommended that I read this book by the actress Yvonne Orgy called Bamboozled by Jesus. And it was phenomenal. But it basically talked about she's a believer, and it talked about how all of the similar to what I told you, like how everything makes sense leading up to that. So it was fantastic. So that book was very instrumental in saying, Yep, it's time to pull the trigger. That's right. So I'm looking forward to going to Hilton Head this week and being with those women and also getting poured back into. Like I'm looking forward to to doing comedy, but I'm also looking forward to resetting and just getting re-energized and you know, being around among a bunch of wonderful women. How about you?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, um, I I'm actually gonna be able to catch up with an old friend over coffee. So I'm very excited. We I feel like we are constantly missing each other, don't live in the same state anymore. And I found out he's coming here and I was like, ah, we gotta get something. So I'm looking forward to that. Tara, where can people find you?

SPEAKER_04:

I would love if people found me on social media platforms at Tara Brown Comedy, mainly Instagram and Facebook. I have a TikTok, I don't do much on TikTok, but if you find me on Instagram and Facebook at Tara Brown Comedy, that would be great. Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. This was fun. The time just flew by. I know it did. Thank you. Thank you. And all the best to you. And I'm so glad you're doing this. You have great guests on, and you look like you're having a lot of fun doing it.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm having a blast.

SPEAKER_04:

Good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you guys for listening. Um, please subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast, check out the YouTube, and we will see you next week. The end. Thanks for listening to my crunchy zen era. Please subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. This podcast is produced by me, Nicole Swisher, and my good friends Summer Harcup and Liz Coulter. Editing is by Drew Harrison Media, and recording is done by Logos Creative in Nashville, Tennessee. Thanks for hanging out. We'll be back next week.

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Nicole Swisher

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