My Crunchy Zen Era
Welcome to My Crunchy Zen Era — we're not exactly sure what it means, but we're figuring it out.
It started when I asked my friends: How do you create a life you love? Then it turned into a podcast full of a little fun, a little humor, and a whole lot of curiosity. Each week we dive into a fresh topic with a guest, exploring everything from everyday joys to life’s bigger questions. Whether we’re laughing, learning, or just letting things unfold, this show is your weekly dose of lighthearted inspiration.
Hosted by Nicole Swisher.
My Crunchy Zen Era
Barbecue, Primitive Camping, and Trying New Things with Phillip Headrick
Say yes to everything unless it gets you killed... is Phillip Headrick's life philosophy that he shares on this episode with host, Nicole Swisher. Join Nicole and Phillip as we chat about:
• Daily affirmations and meditations with a wandering mind.
• Why we love dogs.
• Being buddies with exes.
• Time limits for first dates and judging people on cutlery use.
• The importance of trying new things as adults.
• Phillip's journey to make the perfect salsa.
Subscribe now and join this exploration of what it means to live a happy life in an increasingly complicated world.
Host: Nicole Swisher
Guest: Phillip Headrick
Recommendations:
Welcome to my crunchy zen era. We're not exactly sure what it means, but we're figuring it out. I'm Nicole Swisher, and today my guest is Philip Hedrick.
Speaker 2:Hello Nicole.
Speaker 1:Hi Philip, How's it going?
Speaker 2:Fantastic.
Speaker 1:Good. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:by the way, I'm so excited. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:How long have going. Fantastic Good. Thank you for having me, by the way. I'm so excited. I appreciate it. How long have we been talking about it?
Speaker 2:I'd say longer than a few weeks probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Month section.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I like it.
Speaker 1:I thought we'd start by just giving a background of how we even met, because I think it's funny.
Speaker 2:So we met at a stand-up comedy class, class number one. I remember being extremely nervous because I was assuming I was walking into full-fledged comedians and I was going to be the only one that didn't know anything, and I think you and I were paired together for writing a first joke.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we found each other wandering in the hall, I think.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:And then we walked in and we hit it off and then later Mark, our teacher, was like I thought you guys knew each other.
Speaker 2:We came in as friends. You just had this calming. You made me calm. I was a little nervous and I've always told you this You're very calm and your energy keeps me calm, so I was like this is the one.
Speaker 1:And we stuck together through the whole thing. Yeah, and we did. Do we were paired for that first joke about my mom's horse?
Speaker 2:Yes, it was a horse joke, it was a horse joke Not a great one. I don't remember it, but I remember going. I hope this gets better.
Speaker 1:I remember a little bit Something about a hairdryer, but yeah, that was super fun. Yeah, it was yeah, I feel like I wasn't nervous for the class because I just figured I'm just going to be super bad, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I also figured.
Speaker 2:Everyone had tons of stand up experience and for me I didn't. I don't think I realized what went into writing jokes. I thought I was just going to show up and all of a sudden people are just going to start being funny and then I was going to start riffing. But I really enjoyed like the process of learning how to write and you helped me a lot with editing. I have a big problem with writing very big jokes and you're like take 90% of that out and do this.
Speaker 1:I'm like perfect. I've always loved editing. You're very good at that, Very good. That was my favorite part. But yeah, I was writing a joke last night and I was like stop editing, Just write it.
Speaker 2:Are you sitting down more often and writing now? I?
Speaker 1:just kind of started again, Cause I feel like my brain was like I just don't have capacity for anything.
Speaker 2:So it's fine. I've gotten started back too. I find for me it's better I walk and talk instead of sitting and writing. So I make laps in my kitchen and living area, and just I. So I make laps in my kitchen and living area, and just I'm not sure my neighbors are like what is happening in there.
Speaker 1:He's telling the same thing over and over that's what I used to do, but then, like with my roommate, I've had to be like okay remember there's somebody in the house he's trying to read. You're like, okay, sit down yeah luckily our like schedules are super different and so like when he is working, then I try to like take advantage of doing that.
Speaker 2:Works out anything weird yeah, right, in a one hour period, do all the weird stuff.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly um okay. So I was gonna ask you have you done something crunchy or zen lately?
Speaker 2:so I've recently moved into a new place and I'm trying to create new like daily routines for myself, um and I would assume this falls under that but one of them is like self daily attribute, like attributions or or you're kind of talking in the mirror to yourself. It's a tough thing for me because I I end up riffing on myself in the mirror so I'll start with, you know you're a good person, people love you.
Speaker 2:You probably should do something with this bag area under here. And then I get the lotion and I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, focus on.
Speaker 1:The exact opposite, the exact opposite.
Speaker 2:I did that on meditation. I've tried to do kind of those self-guided meditations, you know, put the headphones on, sit on the floor, and I think I've made it. Maybe three minutes into most of them I just I'm either asleep, because if I you know me I'm a constant motion.
Speaker 1:And sitting.
Speaker 2:For me, it's like I'm either sitting down to eat or I'm going to sleep. So I'm trying, I'm going to keep focused at it.
Speaker 1:I think it's going to take some effort, but I've been trying to do those affirmations too, actually it well, I started a while back and then I lost it, and now I've been like do that again and so for me it's like you're smart, you have a good memory, there's history there, yeah, um, you're fun, you're healed, and I do think it like made a difference when I was consistently doing it and I would do it like in the bathroom or like when I was driving to work um different times and are you saying things like a set of things that you've written, or are you just kind of coming up with stuff?
Speaker 2:because that's my thing I'm like I'll do three that I've know and then I'm like you're cool, you stop at red lights, stop at red lights you hold the door for people. You're a good guy.
Speaker 1:I think I came up with them, but they're sort of like a memory.
Speaker 2:Maybe that's what I need to start is do something.
Speaker 1:And I just do them over and over and I actually have it voice recorded on my phone.
Speaker 2:if I ever was like oh, I'm tired, I'm just going to turn that on. Just listen to myself talk about myself. Yes, you're good, you're amazing. You're an amazing person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then the meditation stuff, like I actually lay down and I just do five minutes.
Speaker 2:And do you stay present or are you just like? Is your mind like I'm like what's for dinner? Do I have any oregano?
Speaker 1:And then I'm like, what's for dinner? Do I have any oregano? What's the? And then I'm like, okay, whoa, stay focused. Yeah, it drifts. And then, like I come back, yeah, and they say, like that's part of it is like, oh, you notice it. And then you like, bring it back to the present.
Speaker 1:The longest I've ever done is about 15 minutes and that is long yeah, that's a nap, yeah for me and, and like the one I actually remember that recommended it on the last podcast was um, I can't remember something. Mindfulness, mindfulness in minutes okay, anyway, it's a podcast I've been using. She has like five minute, 10, 15, and so like I'm like at least do five minutes yeah because that feels good to like.
Speaker 2:Close your eyes and I think one of my issues one, one of my many issues is not sticking with something. I'll try it for three or four days and I'm like well, I'm just not the meditating type, but it's why they call it practicing meditation. No one's ever perfect at it.
Speaker 1:Are you like a black and white type person, like all or nothing?
Speaker 2:It's funny In my mind I would tell people I'm not like I can I'm good with everything. But yes, I'm finding as I'm getting older and it's definitely like I'm either. I either like it or I don't like it.
Speaker 1:You know, it's either on or off, it's no, nothing in between okay, because when you said that, because for me, like I have been that way a lot and I'm trying to like adjust, so like it would be like all being like I'm doing this exercise program, this is what I do, I'm gonna eat this way, and then the moment I have a day where I'm like, oh, I didn't do it, I'm like it's over, yeah, I can't go back to this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what happened when I was vegetarian.
Speaker 1:I was so I brief, brief moment. I bragged about it.
Speaker 2:I bragged about it to everyone. It would come up in every conversation. And then I think I did it for three weeks. I changed everything. And then I went to Martin's Barbecue and had a pulled pork sandwich and I was like I'm not a vegetarian. And now I'll tell people I'm an 80% vegetarian.
Speaker 1:I mean Martin's barbecue could be. I would be okay with that being an exception to anyone's vegetarianism. I always, I love that spot. It's so good, it's the only place I eat ribs.
Speaker 2:I never eat ribs anywhere else. Love the ribs. Their redneck taco, oh I haven't had that. It's a. They call it a hoe cake. It's like a pancake made of cornbread with pulled pork and slaw. I can't even talk about it.
Speaker 1:It sounds amazing. I need to go right now. I get the pulled pork like whatever platter, but my dad, whenever he's here, he always gets the ribs and he gets like the whole thing so that he can bring the extra back and then we'll just like eat on it.
Speaker 2:My brother's a wine importer and he just had 12 French vineyard owners in town and took them to Martin's and watching all this meat come out. I mean they were just like what is happening I? Mean barbecue everywhere, barbecue sauce, they devoured it and they still talk about it.
Speaker 1:You can't be planning on impressing anyone.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:If you order ribs, it's with people you know no fork and and knife.
Speaker 2:I need you to dig in.
Speaker 1:Yes, I need sauce to be flying I also love how you order and then you just go sit yes because, like I, I always get like if you sit down and like catching up with somebody and then I feel bad because I haven't like looked at the menu and then the person's coming back and I'm like I'm just gonna go focus, I have to order because it's a line, and then that one downtown, I don't know which one you go to, the one he's a belmont one um, okay, the one downtown's got that open air area upstairs with band playing wait, where is?
Speaker 2:that, oh yeah, I can't it's probably close by here it's very close. I was pointing at it um yeah, maybe two blocks over um, but it's perfect because, especially if you're, you know, casual afternoon, you're still outside. But you get the band, you get your ribs and barbecue.
Speaker 1:I love barbecue. I got barbecue when I was in Little Rock and okay, so it's this place called Sims Barbecue. It's a total dive Party in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we used to always go there. That's judges, so I worked for a judge, so it's his favorite place and when I was coming he's like we need to go to sims and I I feel like I had like forgotten like how good it is and it's better than the barbecue here, but apparently it's like a certain type of barbecue which I don't remember. Do they do? Is it more of a?
Speaker 2:vinegar based sauce, or is it? Yes, I?
Speaker 1:think so. It was really good.
Speaker 2:Memphis is where I started. I went to PT school in Memphis and I'll never forget. I went into the barbecue joint there it's no longer there and I ordered a barbecue sandwich and the lady she had a cigarette in her mouth and it's just bouncing and she's like you want coleslaw on it? And I was like on the sandwich and it's bouncing and she's like you want coleslaw on it? And I was like on the sandwich. And she goes yeah, baby, that's how you eat it here. From that point on, if I don't have coleslaw, on my sandwich on the sandwich.
Speaker 2:I can't have it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's. I mean it's amazing. Yeah, yeah, but Sims.
Speaker 2:Now I'm hungry, by the way.
Speaker 1:Sorry, sims, though, though like for the first year, because okay so I'd been in Minnesota, never lived in the south. The first year we ate there, I got a stomach ache every time, and I just like didn't tell them it still went, it's worth it, yeah. And then, like by the second year, I was like fine. And so when we went back I was like I wonder if I'm gonna get sick. And then I was just totally fine who cares?
Speaker 2:it was worth it absolutely. Barbecue's always worth it so amazing.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, we don't got stuff like that in minnesota, no, no, so, um, okay, so if you could relive any memory, what would it be and why?
Speaker 2:um, there's a memory about four years ago the whole family went to Costa Rica and my dad was gracious enough to get us this beautiful kind of Airbnb. It fit all. I think it was 13 of us on this hill overlooking the ocean and it had this infinity pool and I remember the night family sitting around, my nieces and nephews were all in the pool. It's glowing, it's like this perfect evening and we're blaring the music from the broadway musical les miserables and we're singing. The whole family is saying I'm sure the neighbors are like what is happening over here? I'm doing jean valjean going into the pool and the kids still talk about it. I mean, it was just such a fun, like carefree moment where everybody in the family was together, no arguing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I love it. I think about it a lot. I have the picture saved on my phone to look at because it's like that was one of those nights. I remember thinking in the moment like this is a memory for me, yeah. So what about you?
Speaker 1:I was actually thinking about it this morning because, like I was like what would I say? And I actually so. We had this dog named Clifford and he was a big, like 100-pound Black Lab Golden Retriever. And again, little Rock. This was not I didn't mean to mention Little Rock this much, but when I, like, would come home from being in Little Rock and I'd walk in the door and the joy that this dog would have for me, he became a lap dog and he would just follow me around and the moment I sat down he'd crawl in my lap. And I mean that dog he was I don't want to say he wasn't my siblings, because they might get offended.
Speaker 1:But, I was around more because I lived with my parents during law school and they, they were married, they moved out, and so I just like really bonded with Clifford, and then at some point my parents were like well, do you want him? And I was like I'm, I'm in a one bedroom apartment.
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:Yes, but he's living on seven acres Like I don't think that's fair.
Speaker 2:That's the reason I'm a dog person.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because you could go to the mailbox and come back. And they're like oh, look who's here. Are you kidding me? You know, the cat's just kind of ambling around the house. It's a roommate and they're like I'll get to you when I get to you, no worries.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's just like so much of like I don't know. It's interesting, both our memories are kind of this very carefree. It's a good feeling, it is.
Speaker 2:You know, when I was thinking about it like memories, my first thought is like you know, some big, like I was at the World Cup and such, but like that was just. That's like a bragging thing, like a good memory for me is like the moments that I feel at peace and carefree.
Speaker 1:And, like the, the moments that that I feel at peace and carefree, and it's usually with family. Yeah, I would say a lot of mine are too, although these days it's not like calm with all the kids, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean it's fun, but there's nothing calm about my family, so, and yeah, maybe calm that's not in the right word, it's just where everybody is comfortable and being themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that feeling of like when you have friends or family where you know you can just show up and you don't have to put a face on at all.
Speaker 1:Like that. I think when I first moved here was a challenge, and when I first moved to Little Rock was a challenge because I didn't know anybody and so I felt like I was like missing this. I don't know like community where you could just show up and not worry about anything. And so, like my sister and I used to just watch Psych, you know, for hours on end and it didn't matter. You know like we'd do whatever we wanted, and yeah, it's like Christmas morning with my family.
Speaker 2:We're in the tackiest outfits, it's sweatpants and hair's not done. There's zero judgment and it's just. There's not a care in the world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do. I feel like I've found those friends though now in Nashville.
Speaker 2:Those are good to have. It just took a moment.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and part of it also was me, me expressing of like, hey, like. I don't always want to go out to a bar like I want a friendship where we can also like go to someone's house and just be in sweats and like it's still the same.
Speaker 2:I think it's tough in Nashville. It's probably in every city too, but Nashville is such a go-out bar scene. I mean we've got thousands of bars, tons of rooftops and it's a big, it's a very big. Meet me at this bar and we'll go.
Speaker 1:But I found that you've got to be intentional with friends and like any chance we could just do game night, yeah, and not do bar night or bar weekend yeah, I feel like that's partly why, like it's nice to hang with you, yeah, um, because you'll like come to my house and we can just like sit on the balcony and like. That's like a big thing for me over the last year of being like well, I can't really be out in these loud places because of the head injury stuff, and so it's like to have friends who will like come over and we can still have just as good a time. You really find who your people are.
Speaker 2:That's true, and people are. That's true, and people are always surprised. I mean, game night, several of my friends were like I don't know, what are we playing? I'm like just give it a whirl. And then Elena, my friend, you know her, she's so good at game night stuff and she'll host sometimes and they'll be like I'm only going to stay an hour, Four hours in, we're screaming. It's just a bonding experience too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. I was going to do a grab bag question, but it's over there and I don't want to go get it. So go grab the bag.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:But there. So here's, if I can remember one of them what superpower would you want to have?
Speaker 2:I know we're going from serious to yeah, even I, I mean, I would love to be invisible yeah, what?
Speaker 1:okay, why I?
Speaker 2:don't know. I just think, um, it'd be be fun to see, kind of and it's not for a reason of like anything other than like wanting to see how people live. And are they talking about me?
Speaker 1:are they when I leave the room? If?
Speaker 2:they if I leave the room. The other one is flying, just the ability to like. You know, I want to go. I want to go to new york. Yeah, I can go, um, but I feel like that would get exhausting, it would mess my hair up and all that.
Speaker 1:So, um, yeah probably invisible I would do teleporting, and it's it's because often at the end of the night somewhere I'm like I wish I could just be in my bed. Boom, or in New York, you can do teleporting.
Speaker 2:That's a good one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've definitely thought about this a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can tell. I don't think strength would be like the strongest man in the world. I mean I'd show off a few times. But I mean I'd show off a few times, but I mean how many times can?
Speaker 1:you crush a car you would get asked to do so many.
Speaker 2:You move this trailer for us. Hey, we're moving on Saturday. I'm dressed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would not, yeah, yeah, okay, so I have some random thoughts lately.
Speaker 2:I love random thoughts.
Speaker 1:Can you be friends with exes?
Speaker 2:Yes, 100%, tell me more. Can you be friends with exes? Yes, 100%, tell me more. I am, besides my long-term relationship, I'm friends with the three people that I've dated. I've been here 11 years now and I am very good friends with one, and then the two I still care about. For me, it's, like you know, unless it the relationship ended by some sort of awful you know they've cheated and none of them did uh, it was wasn't a good fit, it wasn't a good time, that kind of thing. But I definitely chose this person because I saw something in them. I love their personality, I love them as a human. Um, you know why wouldn't I still want to be friends with them? The second part is, you know, gay community is small, so if you turn your back on one, then they have 15 friends, you know.
Speaker 1:And then you're like you know, it's like just be normal, just be nice.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm not going to dinner with them, but yeah, if I see them out, hang out. You know, chat sometimes.
Speaker 1:You're not, I am and I don't know well, okay, let me think about this.
Speaker 2:What I?
Speaker 1:want to say I am, and one of them, though it has to be like a little bit like arm's length and like. Last time I like was dating somebody, I felt uncomfortable continuing that friendship in the same way, and so then I started thinking, well, is that actually fair to that guy when I'm dating that?
Speaker 2:it changes the friendship oh, I didn't think of that does that happen with you at all? I can't think of an example, but I've really tried to approach dating. My therapist many years ago gave me some advice that I have just hung on to, and it is every date you go on, you approach it. If it's a first date or second date, it's how does this person fit into my life, or do they? It's not? Are they my lover?
Speaker 1:Are they my?
Speaker 2:partner. Will I marry them? Because I was going on dates being like, look at the way he's holding that fork, I hate that. I hate his laugh. You know that kind of stuff. It's like no, no no, no, don't, don't keep tallies. Just see, are they a friend, are they a?
Speaker 1:networking person.
Speaker 2:Um, maybe there's somebody at arm's length Like you, you know they're good to know. Maybe in the future y'all cross paths, you know, but I try not to burn bridges too much, Cause he says I just life's short, we're all here to just try to find love and happiness. So what if it didn't work? It's a timing thing. Half the time I know it would have been good with this person if I'd met them or I dated them 10 years later. But now they're married.
Speaker 1:It's interesting because I reconnected with my last boyfriend recently and not in a romantic way at all, but sort of just friendly, and when that ended ended, that would have been challenging but it's been a good. I don't know how long eight months or did you reach out? I did and there was a specific reason I don't feel like sharing, but it was a it's good, like it was a good conversation um and like he's moved from nashville, so it's not like it's like a hangout yeah thing.
Speaker 1:um, but like I'm friends with this guy, I dated like a few years ago and he's married and I was invited to the wedding and some of my friends thought that was so bizarre, like you're going to crash it.
Speaker 2:Stand up in the in the ceremony. I have a problem.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I really like his wife and so it's like I've always ended pretty cordially with people. Cause it's like I've always ended pretty cordially with people because it's not like. I look at dating as like it's not. Most people are not good or bad, right, it's just, sometimes you're just not a fit and that's OK.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely, and I mean the whole. For me it is it's a timing issue and a situation where I have got and it's usually I'm not ready timing issue and in a situation where I have got, it's usually I'm not ready like I'll jump into a date and realize, okay, like they're really ready to commit and I'm not. But when I'm on the date, like the whole point, I should have said let's go have dinner as friends or let's get to know each other as friends. But you know, I don't know if it's the same in the straight world, but you know, I get two guys go get drinks together. It's probably a date, you know, unless you say otherwise yeah, I would if.
Speaker 1:If a guy asked me to get drinks, even if he didn't clarify, I'd be like oh, I'm going on a date, yeah, yeah and then, if it wasn't, I'd be like well, that was foolish of you, not me, I'm out of here yeah, um I. I would love an update on your dating life.
Speaker 2:So I didn't. It's been many months and for many reasons. One I moved, but two I used to dye my beard here, and when I turned 50, on my 50th birthday, I decided no more dye and I thought this was going to take Nashville by storm. I thought, there was going to be posts.
Speaker 1:The Tennessean was going to write a story about it. All over Instagram, people were calling, checking on me.
Speaker 2:No one said a, thing, and so I was so worried about image.
Speaker 1:I didn't notice that, see, now you're pointing it out. I'm like, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, to me it was like the most shocking. I came out. I was like hey guys, I'm here here and they're like great happy birthday. Like we're not gonna read me for filth, for dying my beard you're a solar fox yeah well, thank you.
Speaker 2:But I look back, all my like tinder pics are me with a you know a same color beard and in my head I'm like if I show up on a date and they see this, they're like how long ago are those pictures taken? It's all self-imposed. So anyway, fast forward. I got back on tinder and I have a date today.
Speaker 1:It's exciting where are you going?
Speaker 2:so, um, we're going to the wash, which is it's a series of four. It's in an old car wash in east nashville. It's a series of four or five restaurants amazing. There there's a Peruvian one, a Thai place, so it's a great place, so you can just try things. It's outside, casual. I put a time limit on the date.
Speaker 1:Okay, I think that is really important.
Speaker 2:I said I've got two hours and I'd love to sit and talk, because I do have a bad habit of like if it's going well, I'm like you know you want to go out tonight or we can go dance, and this is the first date.
Speaker 1:This is the first date, okay, so I like to do no more than an hour and a half.
Speaker 2:Oh, should I call and tell him we're cutting.
Speaker 1:No, I'm just curious, because I start to get tired after an hour and a half and then I don't think as much about what I'm saying and I feel like I start to overshare after that, I think and I'm not 100 I've not talked to him on the phone.
Speaker 2:Uh, this has just been over messaging but. I do think. I don't think english is his first language, so in my mind I was trying to give some time for like if we needed to slow down and do translation better and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:But I don't think two hours is wrong. Yeah, I feel like I've heard of people being like five hours later. I'm like what are you talking about?
Speaker 2:oh, and I used to do dinner. You know it's such a commitment. Get down going downtown park. It's three hours on a first date. Oh yeah, I will never do dinner on a first.
Speaker 1:I won't either now unless I'd met them like I don't know. If I knew him through like friends or something, I maybe would and I'd already, like had a conversation, knew it wouldn't be like a complete dud yeah, well, my issue was like I was throwing all my cards at the very beginning it's like go.
Speaker 2:Go to a fancy restaurant, prove that you know how to order wine, you know how to order a cocktail, you know how to hold your silverware right.
Speaker 1:It's like I don't know any of these. What are you doing?
Speaker 2:no one's ever been like. That was an amazing first date, because you really showed us how to you, you know.
Speaker 1:I feel like you've got a thing with silverware. Now I need you to like show me what I'm doing wrong.
Speaker 2:It's just, you know it's a silly little judgy thing. I'm over it now, but now for me it's coffee or, you know, lunch, not dinner. Dinner just makes it like it's too easy to be like, all right, you want to go grab a drink and go out from here, so it's a day date and then wait a few days.
Speaker 1:I've heard it referred to like years ago as the preamble, and so that's how I think of like. If you met on an app and then you're just getting coffee, it's more of like a preamble, because you don't.
Speaker 2:I like that and I've got to work on. You know me, I'm a big question asker and I had a guy one time tell my group of friends. They were like, how do you know him? I'm like, well, we went on a date. They were like, how did it go? And he was like he wasn't for me. I said, well, you can tell him why. And he said it was like being interrogated. In my mind I was keeping conversation going. I was trying to ask a lot of different questions.
Speaker 1:Were you responding to questions? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:If they would say what about you? But then in my head I'm like why aren't you asking me any questions? And I'm like well because you're not letting him ask you questions. You're just barraging. Where are you from originally?
Speaker 1:What kind of work do you do? What's your social security number, if?
Speaker 2:you could get rid of one vegetable, what would you get rid of? So today, I'm just going to be calm, let the conversation flow.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a cool place. Is it newer?
Speaker 2:It's been open about a year now. It's really amazing. The food is exceptional.
Speaker 1:I don't get over the East very much.
Speaker 2:You've got to come. Food scene is off the chain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like it reminds me of Northeast Minneapolis, which I love.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:That's where I lived before moving here.
Speaker 2:It's just got a good vibe lots of cocktail clubs and I don't know. You don't have to go downtown to have fun in Nashville, thank goodness.
Speaker 1:Thank goodness, yeah, let's see. Okay, have you okay? I've been watching big bang theory lately on hbo max with commercials I love that you added this.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a reason.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right there's a commercial that keeps coming up, a trailer for a movie, and I it's disturbing. It's like this guy like kidnaps women, takes them on a boat and is like recording their murder. Have you ever thought about that?
Speaker 2:somebody's brain came up with that yes, when I'm watching, especially like horror or serial killer movies, I'm like, were you on the treadmill and you? You were like you know what? You know what we should do. We should do something about you know hog tying people and I'm like who comes up with this? Are you having a focus group? Did you come up with this on your own?
Speaker 1:Yeah, every time this one comes up, I'm like, literally someone came up with this. This is horrifying.
Speaker 2:It's always like the scariest movie of all time Like who?
Speaker 1:Somebody who hasn't been to therapy, I think.
Speaker 2:That was probably true.
Speaker 1:Or maybe too much I don't do well.
Speaker 2:I don't do well with like the horror and the super scary, because I feel like it's always. It always looks like the place I'm living. I'm like that looks like my apartment complex. Was that filmed here?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't like scary movies. I feel like, so like I feel like something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, like my brain would concoct that out of fear, but I would never like be like this would be a good movie, like because I would be like scared.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like wandering around the house, like oh my God, there might be like someone about to jump out at me. It's like I don't want to turn that into like something everyone's watching.
Speaker 2:But how do you convince the studio too? You're like here's what I'm thinking a crazy, a psycho is going to carry a chainsaw around and murder people in farms, and they're like I think america would love this. Yeah, I think this is a really good option for for us, but oh, it's a little disturbing yeah, it is it is Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do we got next? Okay, we were going to talk about trying new things as an adult.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think everybody should do this. I mean, we tried comedy.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:For me, trying new things was it forces my creativity juices, which I think is really helpful, even if you don't think you're creative. Like doing something new helps you realize, oh, I've got this little bit of creativity in me and maybe opens up a new pathway. I'm a big believer in say yes to everything unless it gets you killed. That's my motto in life and so I'm like I want to be a wedding. Um, mc, you would be amazing. I think I want to do a business where I'm a wedding.
Speaker 2:I've been to some weddings recently and they're beautiful and but, there's always like a um, you know the moment between food and dancing and it's just like who's going to dance and what are they and why are they up there, and I think it would be fun yeah, you're like a cruise director, yes, yeah. I've got the jackets for it, so you really do yeah yeah, what about you? Are you gonna? Are you starting something new, or um, am I starting something new?
Speaker 1:I don't, I don't know. I mean, part of the reason I've been thinking about this is because I feel like I went through this phase where I did try a lot of new things. So for like a long time I wasn't. I was just like working, trying to get out of debt. And then I was like I'm moving to Nashville and that was like I'm gonna do something new of like a new city and new way of like making friends, like I tried. You know, I made great friends off of Bumble BFF you did.
Speaker 1:You've told me about amazing friends, and then stand-up was like this completely weird thing that my therapist was like try something creative, and so I did a bunch and then I feel like I stopped and so I just have been thinking about how it's so healthy to do and I kind of Googled and looked up what AI told me. But you know that you get like a dopamine hit and it makes you like more flexible with like how you think and just in life, and I definitely have seen that from trying stand up of like oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:Just putting yourself out there and being like I was convinced I would be really bad at it and I was like it's fine, I like have been humiliated in law school, Like we're fine.
Speaker 2:What could be worse right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I think it's really good to have something where you're putting yourself in a different environment of like it's okay, there's no like pass or fail, it just is.
Speaker 2:And I didn't have a lot of that. I think it also like confidence, confidence building is so important um, it gets you out of routine. I think a lot of people are so stuck in a routine and I'm including myself in that where you just kind of go through the motions and it's like, yeah, sometimes I was like I got class tonight. I gotta go comedy class. I'm so tired. But then I go and I'm like sitting in bed that night going. I can't wait to write more jokes, I can't Like it. Just the dopamine hit really is a thing. I think one thing I want to try and I'm terrified to do it is Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
Speaker 1:Oh, why are you terrified?
Speaker 2:In my mind, the first class. I'm getting jumped in like a gang and then they'll beat me up and you know um I'll quit after one visit um trial by fire, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, let's see how you fight dude.
Speaker 2:I'm like no my, my barber's been trying to get me to go for so many years and he's I know it's a good thing I'm intimidated, honestly, about going.
Speaker 1:Do you remember jasmine, who you met at my halloween party? Oh yes she does jujitsu.
Speaker 2:That's how she and shane, my co-worker I had that conversation with her married yeah it just seems so intimidating to call to me to walk in with like, and it's in my mind, it was like all men who had just finished a massive workout and they're just seething and ready to fight and my barber's, like it's literally guys that are like, hey, let's practice this sparring together, and it's not about learning to fight, it's just about self-control and self-discipline. But as long as I don't get jumped in, I don't do well with being jumped in.
Speaker 1:We're just waiting for the next one. Phillip's here. All right, beat him, yeah. Yeah, that's how I feel about like I've been wanting to do more weightlifting and like, as I've listened to like podcasts, they're like everyone's super nice and I'm like I don't know just like walking into the gym and with my like spaghetti arms and being like sure, I can do 10 pounds, yes, but and that's.
Speaker 2:That's why I usually go to the apartment gym, because I go to the regular gym and I spend the entire time like, okay, everyone else is, looks like they're on a focused schedule and I'm wandering around. I'm like, let's, let's lift that a few times, that's, that feels good yeah go walk and I know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I'm a physical therapist, but there's an intimidation factor for me yeah, yeah, I feel like, um, let's see.
Speaker 1:So I feel like with the trying new things like I automatically think about like stand-up or improv or something creative, but one thing I've been noticing about myself is like just something new of like a location also helps me feel like happier, more uplifted of like you know. I mean I have been to Little Rock but like going there for a week and working remotely really felt like it lifted my spirits of like just having like change and a different not a different habit, but routine, like you said I think you're exactly right.
Speaker 2:I mean, even like a day trip is so invigorating and people think like, oh, you gotta, vacation's got to be a week. You gotta fly, you gotta. I mean there's so many places you can drive to and come back from. I mean I went down and did the jack daniels tour, um, recently, and I've been there before and I knew this. I mean it was nothing new for me, but I just remember I was like that was so fun. Yeah, it's came back. I'm like now I'm interested in how they make whiskey and we went and ate at Miss Mary Bobo's. Which is this amazing like home-cooked meal place that you sit with people all together, family style. You know I love that and it was just it. It's fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, as you say, that I'm like I even love trying a new recipe, absolutely, you know, taking it slow. And yeah, I don't know. I'm thinking now I'm like, what new thing am I trying? I guess selling a house.
Speaker 2:That's a thing, that's a thing.
Speaker 1:Well, the meditation. For me that was a. It's a new thing. We're working on it. The most recent thing that I did that was a new experience was my romance novel writing class I forgot you did that it was amazing have you finished your first novel no, no, of course not.
Speaker 1:And also like I did start writing more because I've always enjoyed like creative writing. But I started writing more and I turned it, so like at the end our teacher was like you can turn in some writing and I like turned it. I was like so this is not romance, it's not even a kiss Thank you, it made me super creative.
Speaker 2:Well, that was going to be my question. What's like the one thing you took, or?
Speaker 1:maybe you took several things.
Speaker 2:What's one thing you took from a romance writing class?
Speaker 1:I the other. It was all women which it could have been men but it was all women. I was so impressed with how passionate those women were about this like they knew so much they were so excited about it.
Speaker 1:They talked about it like very seriously and were very engaged and like I was fascinated by like the plot structure and like it was fun to talk about like cliches and it was just really cool to see people who are super passionate about something and they're pursuing it, and not necessarily without fear, but it's like I often have, like a limiting belief of like well, I mean I'd put in all this work and like it's not going to get published, Right, what's the point?
Speaker 1:And so then I like don't do it, but like the point is the enjoyment of the process, and so I really liked seeing that and so there can. I haven't been able to go, but the second Saturday of each month they're meeting up and so I offered they're coming to my house in June, so I'm hosting, even though I'm like still don't have any romance written at all and I don't really read romance a lot and if I do, it's more of like rom-com, but I learned there are things out there.
Speaker 1:I was like, is this still romance? More of like rom-com, but I learned there are things out there. Our teacher was always like don't take anyone's. Yum, I love that. Should be a t-shirt, it probably don't anyone job.
Speaker 2:I love that. Remember, in in comedy class, you know, I had like a writer's block and trying to figure out and one of the things it was just to start writing, just to start. Don't limit yourself to like, okay, what's this about? And I would sit at the coffee shop and I would just I'm not writing.
Speaker 1:I was typing and it was just sentence upon sentence and then suddenly something kind of clicks and you're like huh let me, let's start there now, and yeah for me it's like if you, if you say no or you limit yourself, it's like I mean you're not going to experience it yeah, yeah, and that's like last night when I was trying to write a joke because it's been so long since I felt that creative yeah and so I just started writing and I like I said I noticed myself editing and then I was like stop editing, just right. And then, as I did, I started. I was like oh, that's funny.
Speaker 2:I was like I could maybe have that for an open mic soon well remember Mark told us about like writing so many jokes a night just come home and write five jokes and I'm like in my mind it made no sense.
Speaker 2:To me, like, how do you just sit down and write a joke, right, and then it just and 99% of the ones I've written are pretty bad, but so the one, some of the ones that I've used in sets, are great and they land and I've worked on them and you've helped me edit them, and it would never have happened if I hadn't just let that creative process go yeah, and I think because it's been six months or actually since whatever January, I don't know since I've done a show and I've been really happy taking a break and a lot of that is just with um work and different things.
Speaker 1:right, it takes a lot of energy to be going out consistently, but a lot of my old jokes are not exactly relevant anymore for me Of like I could go out and just like do them. I'm thinking about my dog joke and I'm like we won't go into why that's not going to be relevant. It's so dark.
Speaker 2:It's dark, I do like it, I do like it.
Speaker 1:But I was like I could rewrite that in a little bit. Yeah, and yeah, and some of the other ones too, where I'm like, oh, like my life has changed, but it doesn't, so I don't know. So I've been thinking about going back and like working on them.
Speaker 2:I do like going back and reading them too, Cause it's like I'll read it and be like that's I'm not going to use that joke anymore. But the thought behind it, the idea, is something that I want to put in, something that's more of a mature not mature maybe, but a different joke. So I try to keep everything I write. It's embarrassing to go back and reread sometimes, and I even audio recorded, like some of the sets my first sets and listening back and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is bad babe.
Speaker 1:But you did it, I did it.
Speaker 2:I'm proud and you, you did great with your show. You were so gracious to let me come on your show several times and it was a great experience. I try new things. Say yes to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, totally different. But one thing I do. Actually, I'm not 100 sure I want to try this, but part of me says I want to primitive camping okay, I'm quickly trying to figure out the difference between camping and primitive camping I think it's the toilet situation. Okay, so we're talking. You're going into, you're in a tent in the woods and you're doing your business alone. Well, I think so. I mean, I was thinking I'd have a dog and I.
Speaker 2:Why are you going alone?
Speaker 1:You're going to have to drop a pin. I'm not going to, you're not going alone into the campsite. Well, okay, so I think I want to hike the appalachian trail at some point.
Speaker 2:oh my gosh and in order to do that.
Speaker 1:You need to be able to just like sleep outside, which I currently don't think I could do. So I feel like I want to try primitive camping in like south cumberland state park, because it's there and like that feels decently safe.
Speaker 2:Will you have weapons with you? I?
Speaker 1:think I would, I think so. This is I'm not even saying this year okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, not even saying two years. Why don't you take Brazilian jiu-jitsu?
Speaker 1:with me. I mean maybe like a taser or something. But yeah, I want, I think I want to hike the Appalachian Trail and you have to be able to do that.
Speaker 2:I love that. I mean, it sounds horrifying, but I feel like I want to. I do like the idea of camping like a day or two, but for me it's like I'm bringing so much I want to cook an amazing meal. I want, I don't want like a package to you know, add water protein bar. Yeah, no, I want to do a filet, you know, with a cast iron skillet. So I've got to have a trailer with me to make sure I can get everything there.
Speaker 1:I just imagine you like hiking in with this like red two pack mules.
Speaker 2:Well, it's funny, my um, we went out to montana years a few years ago and one of the options was camping and I was like, I told my brother I was like john david, like I'm, I'm willing to try this, and he sent me the picture and it's a, it's a tent with a chandelier in it.
Speaker 1:It's kind of it's it's glamping I'm like oh, you should have said glamping, I'm ready, let's glamp, honey, that's okay. I am so far from being able to do this that, like I was looking at glamping and I was like I don't know, I mean I'd have to walk 10 feet in the dark to the house. I was too scared.
Speaker 2:We got a little work to do before. I will let you go on the Appalachian Trail alone, because how many? This is my ignorance. How long is the Appalachian Trail?
Speaker 1:Very long Are we talking, but you can do sections and you want to do the whole thing. No, oh, okay, I would do like a week section, I think.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Like a week as the time frame. Also. A week, yeah, for me, I don't know. I just I feel like there's like something to being out there on your own, like I love hiking and I that's something newer. Where I've tried it like I didn't really hike very much before moving here, and now I'm like I've been to Yosemite and Zion and Smoky Mountains and there's I don't know, there's nothing like just being in silence in the woods and it's like, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I love that. I really wish I. I don't know if I don't love being by myself. I don't know if I don't love being by myself as much as I feel like I might get bored because I have to talk you can talk. Can you imagine passing me on the trail? You're good, phillip, people love you.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. Do you hike? Yes, I said that very emphatically no.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't know that we Do you hike. Yes.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I said that very emphatically. No, I was like I don't know that we've ever talked about this.
Speaker 2:So I do enjoy it. I don't do it regularly, but went to Scotland last year with my father and my two brothers and they really wanted to do some amazing hikes out there. And I didn't know anything about this, and so they were like buy hiking clothes so yes, I've got a you know the hike store. I'm like, dress me, and so this girl picked out all this hike it had everything and I'm like uh, columbia, oh yeah, that's good too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was at Bopper Mills and it was on sale, so I didn't want to spend a ton um, and I absolutely loved it. It was, it was raining. I'm don't walk in the rain. I love the rain, I love the it, just something about it. I don't know if it was the location, but I came back and, like you, can officially say that you enjoy hiking.
Speaker 1:I mean, I feel like it's, I like being like a little scared and like it's just a little too hard for me, and yet I did it. And then you can go home and take a hot shower. Yes, it's a challenging.
Speaker 2:It's something challenging, it's a dopamine hit too, I mean it's something that you've got to be laser focused especially. Um, remember you talking about being on the trail and maybe it was.
Speaker 1:Utah summer. Yeah, like there's a cliff summer, stop you have to be laser.
Speaker 2:Focused on that. I mean yes um, but I love that you're wanting to do that.
Speaker 1:I think that's yeah, I feel like we'll we'll work up towards it yeah I mean, it'll be in baby steps, and my roommate did say he would teach me how to start a fire. So we're starting this is yeah, let's say we've got a few weeks before you're really yeah, I was like do you think the hoa would get mad if I just go go out? You're?
Speaker 2:out in the front. What is she doing? She's starting a fire. She's hiking soon. Don't worry about it, just in the middle of Bellevue, I mean surely they've got fire starter kit, like something little you can just do. Are you wanting to do like the I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I'll be reading a lot of blogs going to REI.
Speaker 2:You will be well, I know you will well research this. Well research, I know you will.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, lately I've been obsessing over gluten-free savory crepes from Red Bicycle in Germantown, I mean.
Speaker 2:Well, that fit on one page. Did you stumble on this by accident or?
Speaker 1:no, so I used to live right by there oh, that's right, I forgot about that but I wouldn't really get the crepes very often and I was just like super hungry the other day and I went in and got it and this balsamic crepe is so good and I had had crepes better than this even when I was in france, and that's when I first learned like they like stuff their crepes and they're so amazing.
Speaker 1:But yeah, lately I've just been like, I'm like I think I'll just go alone, I just like park and walk over, and I did it yesterday.
Speaker 2:I just feel like I need to try this now. You haven't had them.
Speaker 1:Not, not that, not that particular I mean I love crepes, but okay, it's really good Okay. Yeah, I don't know. Red Bicycle, they're not open in the nations anymore.
Speaker 2:Oh, Are they?
Speaker 1:in the East. I know they're in Germany. I just know Germantown.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the only one I know is Germantown.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:My latest obsession is I'm trying to perfect making salsa. Ooh, I've got a red salsa. That's pretty good, but I feel like it doesn't impress people and I want to show up with a salsa and people are like did you see Philip's salsa that he brought? And so I've been working on this. It's using tomatillos, so it's a green salsa. Yeah, I made it for the first time last weekend, after obsessing over it for about a month how to roast the serrano, how to do this, how to make it perfectly authentic. I made it for the first time last weekend, after obsessing over it for about a month how to roast the serrano, how to do this, how to make it perfectly authentic. I probably should have taken the seeds out of the serrano. It was about a nine in my mouth, like it was like. So I had to let everyone else I'm like tell me about it. Is it good, do you like it? So I'm going to keep working on it, but I need to make it to where everybody can enjoy it. A little kick.
Speaker 1:Did you start from a recipe? And are evolving.
Speaker 2:So I went to a restaurant in Houston near the beginning of the year and it was a traditional Mexican restaurant and they had six sauces on the table and I loved that.
Speaker 2:Like, give me some stuff to dip in, mix and match. But I always found myself going for, like the traditional, like a little chunky tomato salsa, but they had several other ones and I'm like I don't know the the waitress is like I said, what's your favorite? If you were going to die tonight, you could only have one more bite of salsa. Which one? And she, no, she went and it was the salsa de aguacate, I think, and it's it's got um avocado in it, fresh avocado, lots of lime oh my gosh, that sounds it's it's divine, um.
Speaker 2:So I used the recipe that they used because they had a cookbook. So I got the cookbook, of course, um, but then I've been finding other versions of it.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna see if I can make so um, make it your own, so that it will be my philips.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to try it, I will make it for you Low spice.
Speaker 1:Okay, before we wrap up, I got a couple of things. Did you have any recommendations for our listeners that you want to share?
Speaker 2:Yeah, podcast-wise, I just binged a podcast called the Redefector. It's a true story about a Russian spy. I think his name's Vitaly Orshenko. He went into a US embassy and said he wanted to, you know, give secrets and I won't give anything away, but it's a fascinating journey of was he really doing that?
Speaker 2:Was he still working for Russia, was it? And the things that happened. It's a true story, um, but it's a. It's amazing. And then I just finished um, all the colors of the dark. Um, it's. I think it came out in 24, obsessed, I didn't read, I listen audible because I like to multitask, but it's the point where I would be like working and like stop. I'm like it's a. It's the point where I would be like working and like stop. I'm like it's about two kids who have an incident and then how that incident just changes the whole course of their lives. It's about finding your identity, women's independence, abuse. It's a very, very good. I can't wait for the movie because it's fascinating.
Speaker 1:Interesting. I haven't heard of that. Um I, the one I was going to recommend today is a podcast. Okay, um, have you heard of diary of a ceo?
Speaker 1:no okay, so really interesting podcast. But in particular, there is an episode from march 17th from the speaking coach and he's like a trial lawyer, but he coaches people on how to speak and communicate more effectively. And I love this episode because I've already like used things that he suggests, like before you respond to somebody, take a breath and it shows like you're listening. And the thing I've used at work is I always used to say like just checking in, and instead of that it's I wanted to check in and so it's more like assertive and like.
Speaker 1:It's super interesting how he says like using assertive language leads to more confidence. You don't feel confident and then use assertive language. It's like an action that brings about a feeling.
Speaker 2:I need you to send me that. I definitely will. I would love to listen to that. I've sent it to a lot of people now.
Speaker 1:And just you know it's about like being assertive as a woman is challenging, let me put it that way of like you know, there's this balance of how you're perceived, and so I've always struggled with that a lot in law, and so I've always struggled with that a lot in law. And so just saying, like I am a direct person, I just want to be direct, I don't want that to be perceived in a bad way, um, because it has been in the past. So hearing how he like coaches people is super interesting.
Speaker 2:I think and I think for you, I mean female and then a lawyer. Those both come with certain… Connotations.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I think that's… I would love to listen to that.
Speaker 1:I think we all need to. It's so good, yeah, so what are you looking forward to this week, phillip?
Speaker 2:This week. I'm looking forward to a very, very busy week at work, but it's going great. I'm super excited about it because we've got a bunch of new patients coming in. I've got a dinner planned with a very good friend that I went to high school with, and it's one. I love the friends where you don't have to check in all the time, but as soon as you get together it's an immediate, you're right back where you were and there's no judgment. It could be six hours, six months, six years, it's just. It's fun and healthy and she's so supportive and loving and her family's great, so I just always leave there feeling good. So I'm excited for that, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm really excited for my dad and my nephew to get here. Yeah, my nephew's been calling me like every other day. I learned that you can screen share on FaceTime from him. He's showing me where I'm located on the map, what we're going to do. He's nine and I'm like cool.
Speaker 2:Has he been here before?
Speaker 1:He has, but it's been over three years.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Since I moved into my house.
Speaker 2:This will be exciting for him, because, six-year-old in Nashville, nine-year-old in Nashville, yes, he wants to go to.
Speaker 1:Broadway.
Speaker 2:I'll take him.
Speaker 1:We did go before, but it was like middle of the day and I think that's what we're going to do again. He's like I want to go get that ice cream again, Like that's what everyone goes to Broadway for.
Speaker 2:I love it. There's also one of the newer bars closer to the end where you can watch the bull riding from outside you don't have to be in the bar. He might enjoy that.
Speaker 1:Cool. Well, thank you. Thanks for being here, Phillip this was very fun.
Speaker 2:Thank you, nicole, I appreciate you.
Speaker 1:And I don't know how to end this, so thank you all for being here.
Speaker 2:Thank you Bye.
Speaker 1:Bye. Thanks for listening to my Crunchy Zen Era. Please subscribe. Listening to my crunchy zen era. Please subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. This podcast is produced by me, nicole swisher, and my good friends summer hardcup and liz colder, editing is by drew harrison media and recording is done by lagos creative in nashville, tennessee. Thanks for hanging out. We'll be back next week.