My Crunchy Zen Era

Goat Milk, Shower Curtain Killers, and Some Crunchy Zen Stuff with Marianna Barksdale

• Nicole Swisher • Episode 1

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What does "crunchy zen" actually mean? That's exactly what host Nicole Swisher and her guest Marianna Barksdale are figuring out together in this warm, funny, and not so insightful debut episode. 

Join us to:

  • Debunk recycling myths.
  • Explore our wildest irrational fears such as will my ribs spontaneously pop out of place?
  • Discuss the legalities of owning "part of a goat".

From Nicole's journey through float therapy and saunas to Marianna's revelations about finally using deodorant, we might get a little too honest.

Whether you're wellness-curious or deep into your own crunchy zen journey, this podcast offers a space where imperfection is celebrated, genuine questions are asked, and laughter is always part of the healing process.

Subscribe now and join this exploration of what it means to live a happy life in an increasingly complicated world.

Host: Nicole Swisher

Guest: Marianna Barksdale

Recommendations:

Nicole Swisher:

Welcome to my Crunchy Zen era. We're not exactly sure what it means, but we're figuring it out. I'm your host, Nicole Swisher, and my guest today is Marianna Barksdale. Hey, Marianna, hello, hello, I'm here. I feel like it'll be obvious. This is the first episode, but I'm super excited you're doing this with me, because I was like who am I comfortable with?

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh yeah, mariana, Same, I know You're the only person I'm comfortable with. Oh great, this is why we're friends. Yes, this is why you're my friend.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, I thought like we should share, like how we met which I don't remember the specifics, I just know it was stand up, yeah, stand up comedy.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh, I kind of remember.

Nicole Swisher:

Okay, sort of.

Marianna Barksdale:

I think that have we met before. You asked me to be on Cheaper Than Therapy.

Nicole Swisher:

I have no idea, I have no idea.

Marianna Barksdale:

I just remember I saw you ran the show and I was like she's good at this, awesome, I want to be around her.

Nicole Swisher:

Okay, well, I heard about you the first time because I took your spot on the winery show and it was one of the very first shows I did because you were having surgery. Yeah, so yeah thank you for the opportunity.

Marianna Barksdale:

Hey, anytime I get a golf ball of tissue taken out of my head, I'll let you know and you can have those, those spots, a lot of spots got taken because I had surgeries, but you're doing well yeah, I actually had my checkup on Wednesday and no cancer is growing in my head, so we love that.

Nicole Swisher:

We love that so much so exciting. What do you think my crunchy Zen era means?

Marianna Barksdale:

I've been thinking about this since you told me the title of this podcast. I feel like this is what I've been doing with my life since I was like 20 years old. Honestly, you were ahead of me. What did you say? You were way ahead of me then. Well, I feel like it's been my life's calling crunchy zen-ness. I don't know what it is, though it's like I'm trying to be the most authentic, sincere version myself, without like hurting the earth or the environment in while doing so.

Nicole Swisher:

I like that. I did not think about the environment. I'm gonna be honest.

Marianna Barksdale:

I have no idea when I became so environmentally conscious, but it happened in my early 20s and it's very hard to shake do you recycle? Well, recycling, I wish it wasn't I not ask that this is one of those where you can tell if somebody is actually an environmentalist or if they're not. It's like if you knew how recycling worked, you're like, oh, it just all gets thrown in a landfill, does it?

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, okay, I learned that recently. I was very, I was like trying to do all the right things and then I like took it to the recycling center and it was super confusing.

Marianna Barksdale:

And then I heard that it doesn't even do anything. No, so then I gave up. Yeah, well, I mean, I think if you do like scrap metal and stuff like that, like you, if you get really into the weeds of recycling, it is going to the correct places like electronics and stuff. But it's complicated and most of it goes to a landfill and beaches. They cover beaches and clothes.

Nicole Swisher:

So okay, well, crunchy zen great yeah, crunchy zen yeah, I was thinking so, like my doctors have been telling me to like stop stressing so much, which was causing me to stress out, because I was like well, how do you like not stress?

Nicole Swisher:

and then it was a horrible cycle and so I started, I don't know, just like looking into stuff of like Google, basically and then podcasts and then like books, and so I started doing all these different things like float therapy and like sauna and hikes, which is I don't know. Maybe that's basic, but then, I don't know. I just like started getting to all this other stuff and I was like I feel like I need to learn more from like other people. And then I was like I need to be creative with this. And here I am, yeah, so I don't know, but I was like I really don't 100% know what this means, so we'll figure it out.

Marianna Barksdale:

I just think it's a feeling, yeah something it's a identity yeah, I feel like I'm very drawn to people who are crunchy zen too. You know like you can kind of smell it on them because they smell.

Nicole Swisher:

I'm just kidding. I mean, what kind of deodorant are you using?

Marianna Barksdale:

I actually finally started wearing deodorant. So great Smell, great Thank you. Thank you, it only took 37 years.

Nicole Swisher:

No, it didn't. Are you serious?

Marianna Barksdale:

No, it didn't. I actually used to use that aluminum stuff, which is terrible, so I feel like now I have to make up for that, okay yeah built up in my system detox and then use it.

Nicole Swisher:

Um, let's see, oh, I was gonna ask you, so this is my one prepared question. If you could relive one memory, what would it be and why?

Marianna Barksdale:

oh, my god. Okay, this is so hard for me because, because of my like in my life, the way things have gone, I don't like love go. I don't love thinking about the past, I don't like dwelling on the past, I don't like thinking about it at all. But I was thinking of two things that I actually really enjoy One. Okay, I'll go with the weirder one, please. Do I saw, do you remember Sully, captain, sully.

Nicole Swisher:

Is that like the pirate thing?

Marianna Barksdale:

No, okay, it was around the time that movie came out, which is funny, so it's the guy that crash landed the plane into the Hudson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay I, so it's the guy that crash landed the plane into the Hudson.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Marianna Barksdale:

I saw that happen.

Nicole Swisher:

Same name, though, as the pirate yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

I think so.

Nicole Swisher:

Sort of Sully Okay, sidetracked Sorry.

Marianna Barksdale:

I think, but funny, I know what you're talking about too. Yeah, we know each other so well.

Nicole Swisher:

I'm like I know, know what you're talking about.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, yeah, I was working for this like French fashion line called Lanvin or L'Enfant or, if you can speak, french L'Enfant?

Nicole Swisher:

Not at all.

Marianna Barksdale:

Something like that. It's beautiful and everyone was lovely. But it was back when I was doing fashion and we were working in this penthouse on the Hudson River and we saw this plane coming in way too low and they were like very much like we were supposed to not be seen the whole time because I was an intern and they were like everybody come out, come out. We have to watch this happen. There's some history in the making. And so we all went out on like the deck and like watched Sully, just like glide this giant plane into the water, which was huge in the Hudson and it was in January. There was snow up to your knees if you were walking, so it was cold. I wish I could go back to that moment and just like leave that work environment and just never go back to fashion ever again. I feel like that should have been the moment where I left, it's not?

Nicole Swisher:

where I thought that was going. I thought you would be like, so I could like take a picture, like think more about where I was at. No, so I could choose the crash landing to leave, yeah, no, and I couldn't save anybody either.

Marianna Barksdale:

Nobody died so I don't, so that's at least I wasn't trying to. I couldn't jump in the water and save anybody, but yeah, um, I just feel like for some reason, I wish I had just not done fashion anymore and that seemed like the best time to just walk away, because I was an intern, I wasn't, nobody needed me. How?

Nicole Swisher:

long were you an intern?

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh, I did a lot of internships. I probably did 10 internships before I got my first job. Oh my gosh. I did one every summer in high school and college and throughout school too. I usually had an internship during the year as well.

Nicole Swisher:

I feel like I never did an internship. As you're saying this, I'm like what was I doing during college?

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't know do you intern as a lawyer?

Nicole Swisher:

uh, sort of we call it like clerking okay so like it depends like what you want to do, but so I like clerked, but I feel like when I think, intern, you don't get paid, yeah well, and like with clerking you do, is that not I?

Marianna Barksdale:

was about to ask you that one of my internships, or a couple of them, I did get paid, but it was because I had awesome bosses, gotcha.

Nicole Swisher:

I did one unpaid internship in DC for like a month yeah, and that was mostly so I could go to DC yeah not about what I was doing, which I was just like researching and writing, which I hate.

Marianna Barksdale:

So I was like like but I get to go to DC. Dc is amazing. Yeah, Nobody talks about how awesome DC is.

Nicole Swisher:

I love the public transportation. Yeah, it's so great.

Marianna Barksdale:

Awesome Clean, oh my God.

Nicole Swisher:

And so, like, my favorite thing is the portrait gallery. Like I hate museums, but I love the portrait gallery because it's so peaceful and I would just like go walk in there and just sit. Yeah, I loved it yeah they have great museums there.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh yeah, it's been weeks in dc just not talking to anybody I toured the supreme court while I was there oh yeah, I've been there it was cool yeah and they like take you up on, like the basketball court above the court the

Marianna Barksdale:

actual court okay did you go into, like the senate. When you were there, okay, were you like kind of amazed at how like dingy it was yeah I was like, this is like dirty like my church is cleaner. Yeah, it was like I was, like you guys should really, since y'all aren't here for like six months out of the year, you should clean it clean it.

Nicole Swisher:

I also feel like they're not in it very yeah, they just like pop in and pop out I think it's mostly.

Marianna Barksdale:

I saw john mccain like I went from the wow the um offices.

Nicole Swisher:

There's like that train underneath oh, I don't think I got to see that okay so you can go from the offices, go down and then go to the senate building and I like saw john mccain. I remember being like wait, what that's crazy. It's the only famous person I saw yeah, if he counts. I feel like he counts oh yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, I mean famous war prisoner.

Nicole Swisher:

He did more than that yeah, yeah, and he definitely saw me just like staring at him and not knowing what to do.

Marianna Barksdale:

I bet that's mostly what senators and like people like that. They're just used to people staring at them yeah because I'm sure you never know why someone's staring. It could be because they hate you or love you or don't know what to do, or they're just like who is that?

Nicole Swisher:

Like I've seen you somewhere but, you're not that exciting.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, or they just think you're like, oh they. They just think I'm like their dad's friend.

Nicole Swisher:

You did look like, well, more like my grandpa's friend. Yeah, it's like he was pretty old, yeah, I think. Well, anyway, john mccain, um, I was gonna ask you a random question from my, from this I don't know what we're calling this. Yeah, the grab bag my grab bag from juice co? Um. I did this a long time ago so I actually don't remember.

Marianna Barksdale:

I remember what it is. I know um?

Nicole Swisher:

what food do you refuse to share?

Marianna Barksdale:

all of it, but I do expect everyone to give me bites of their food. I love that I'm not sharing. No, I'm like I would rather seriously buy someone a second so they can have it, instead of, like, giving away my bites, because, like, I'm very economical with bites and if you've ever seen me eat which you probably haven't because I have Really the sandwiches we are close, oh yeah. Okay, we've known each other a while. The first time you saw me eat was last week.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

It's because I don't eat around people.

Nicole Swisher:

Okay, I'm very weird about it. I take like an hour and a half to eat anything usually.

Marianna Barksdale:

Well, we know, I know it's gonna take you, you're never gonna finish that this tea is gonna take the whole day, and I might even put it in the refrigerator for tomorrow. I don't know what it is. I get overwhelmed, but it's okay. I don't want to share food. Do you share food?

Nicole Swisher:

I do, but we have to like, set the parameters. That that's what we're going to do.

Marianna Barksdale:

Okay.

Nicole Swisher:

So I don't like if I order something and people assume it's for the table. I like to establish are we sharing this or am I eating the whole thing myself? Because I like to save the best parts for last, and so if somebody else is eating with me, then I want to start with the best parts for last, and so if somebody else is like eating with me, then I want to start with the best parts first, so I get the best part.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yes, so it's boundaries.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

I'm so with you on this, because there are better bites than others, and I always save the best bites for last. That's why, when somebody tries to grab a pizza, I'm like the next part.

Nicole Swisher:

I just called like random 3am thoughts that I've been having. Oh yeah, do you have any that?

Marianna Barksdale:

you would like to share. 3 am is where all my voices like to attack me. I love that. That's usually where it's like nothing good.

Nicole Swisher:

I know. I mean, if I'm awake at 3 am, it's because I'm like anxious or like stressed about something, and usually I get up and start like cleaning, but then sometimes I'm like, okay, just lay here, you're fine. Um, but I feel like and not all of these are 3 am thoughts but like one thing I always think about at 3 am is whether I'm going to get framed for like murder or like crime and then I'm going to get arrested.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't know Okay 3 am. Do you want to hear? Okay, so this is a different thing that you gave Hold on. You said something to me Irrational fears.

Nicole Swisher:

Can I me irrational fears? Can I tie in my irrational fear here? Yeah, I mean, that's one of my irrational fears too. You're going to get it's, not just put away in jail.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, yeah okay, for just something, just something.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, jaywalking then turns into like you were at the wrong place at the wrong time and left, but there was a body there and you didn't know it was caught on camera. Okay, please tell me what you're gonna say.

Marianna Barksdale:

My irrational fear. So, okay, whenever I'm sitting on the couch. Maybe this comes from like trying to not be lazy, although, like my, my inner, my inner self, is the laziest person that's ever existed, um, which I have to manage properly, and uh, but my irrational fear is that someone is going to shoot me in the head through the window from outside while I'm sitting on my couch. So I'm going to be like the product of crime while I'm just sitting there being lazy is the place that you live, which I know it's over in antioch yeah, but like south nashville bad area no okay

Nicole Swisher:

no, no so it would be totally freak, but you just it could this is not like it.

Marianna Barksdale:

This is why it's irrational. Yeah, it doesn't like children play outside my house, like you know. It's not. Yeah, it's like sure my car was stolen and then they tried to steal it again do you, do you have a dishwasher?

Nicole Swisher:

yes okay, for some reason, I felt like you didn't have a dishwasher I didn't.

Marianna Barksdale:

If I didn't for 15 years, okay, I wasn't making that up then. No.

Nicole Swisher:

So recently I started running the dishwasher before it's completely full and I feel like this has really changed my life. Why? Because in the past I would like go through all my silverware or like, so it'd be like the knives are all gone but I have enough forks and so. But I have to wait until I am through the forks where, like, I have all my plates are dirty but I have plenty of cups and there's still like space in the dishwasher and I have now taken control and I'm just like run my dishwasher.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, because, why not? Why not? I don't think it takes up as much water as washing your dishes I agree with that.

Marianna Barksdale:

I've heard the opposite is true, but I'm also like I don't think you realize how OCD I am when I'm washing the dishes. So I'm like this is not going well. Yeah, this is taking a while. I use a lot of water when I'm washing the dishes. Yeah, oh wow.

Nicole Swisher:

Cause I also like have this fear that like, if I wash something with like chicken on it, then the next thing I wash is not clean, and so then I get rid of the water and then I start over yes that's not crazy, right no, there's chicken stuff in there. This sponge is dirty. Yes, the sponge.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't like. I have a scrub, daddy, because that is an amazing product.

Nicole Swisher:

I don't know what that is oh, it'll change your life.

Marianna Barksdale:

You'll actually never have a different sponge and it is great and I think it's antibacterial. But I don't really believe that, because if you, if you get oil on it at all, it everything feels oily when you're washing it. I don't like that.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't believe that I know I just have like norwex, and I keep switching it out yeah and I just, I don't know, it just feels very dirty, yeah somebody said they got two dishwashers installed in their house, one for dirty, one for clean. So they run one and that's clean and they just get all their dishes out of there.

Nicole Swisher:

I think it was burt kreischer that said this I was like your friend has enough money to have two dishwashers and I was like I kind of love that, but also like I don't know. Wait, I'm confused. Explain this to me again Two dishwashers, one's clean, one's dirty. They just never put the dishes away. Oh, so they just run it at different times. I was imagining they ran it, put it in the next one and ran it again.

Marianna Barksdale:

I was like what's happening? That'd be too OCD. Okay, that would be like you need to live on an island.

Nicole Swisher:

One is for the chicken stuff, one is for everything else.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, oh, that, yeah, then you'd be that guy. What's his name?

Nicole Swisher:

How do they have space for two Probably big?

Marianna Barksdale:

ass Wildly famous, rich, famous rich comedians.

Nicole Swisher:

I'm starting to think famous comedians are some of the richest people on earth and they're just not telling us, because now I've been starting to do the math on like how much they make in each show and how many shows they do a year and I'm just like okay, this coffee is so expensive maybe it's because they were like so broke, when they started, and so they're just like stingy, or like they yeah, not stingy, but they don't want people to know and I would say that they definitely deserve it because of the 15, 20 years they put in it is so long it takes forever and it is so.

Marianna Barksdale:

There's just for most people. It's just like so hard. Yeah, there's no thanks, there's no money, you're just in credit card debt. Staying at La Quinta's I have so many horrible stories from just staying at like these horrible hotels that are $60 a night- I didn't even make it to like.

Nicole Swisher:

I never got to that point.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, no, it's good, it's good, yeah, I would do shows.

Nicole Swisher:

The only shows I did like on the road were like when I went home to Minnesota.

Marianna Barksdale:

I would like pop on a local show and do something, and then Jackson Tennessee yeah, I think, oh, yeah, that was a fun show sort of. I love going on the road but I get so bored like during the day and I try to go out and do things. I try to find an art shop, I try to find like a really good place for lunch and I still have like five hours where I'm sitting there like just going over my notes, like I feel like a clock yeah, I feel like it's not ever super exciting places yeah you go on the road yeah, and then if it is, you'll get too tired before the show.

Marianna Barksdale:

So like if I, when we were in Las Vegas I was thinking about doing a show and then I was like I don't think I could.

Nicole Swisher:

I thought about doing one in Little Rock when I went, because Judge the judge I used to work with. Judge really wanted to see me do stand up. Yeah, so I went on the Little Rock Facebook page like halfway through the week I was like, well, maybe there's something on Friday Nothing. I'm like how is there nothing in Little?

Marianna Barksdale:

Rock. You think there'd only be something on Friday.

Nicole Swisher:

I thought I'm like surely, I just like don't know where to look, or something, and I was like Googling and Googling and I only found one open mic. And the next week was the last time they were going to have the open mic.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh yeah, you told me that, what that's?

Nicole Swisher:

insane. I know so Little Rock, come on, do you have comedy Tell?

Marianna Barksdale:

us.

Nicole Swisher:

But they do have comedy clubs, it clubs, it's just like they didn't like there was no way I was gonna get in. I think it was a loony bin, like I wasn't gonna get on a show there. Oh, I think, but like, but not like. Okay, I was looking for like a local, local show yeah, because I haven't done stand-up in like what? Six months yeah and so I was like I'm just gonna just do it for judge yeah, for anyone else but amber.

Marianna Barksdale:

That's where amber's gonna be, oh yeah, amber, autry is gonna be there oh, oh, my god, if you don't know who amber autry is, get to know her yeah, she's amazing she's gonna be on netflix.

Nicole Swisher:

She's got her netflix something coming out yeah, she got on that what it was, something at zany's that they were all trying out for is it the thing that taylor tomlinson did when she first started the 15 minute set on?

Marianna Barksdale:

it's called the comedy lineup. I think that's how taylor tomlinson popped off, because I remember seeing that 15 minutes. That really I thought she was on.

Nicole Swisher:

Uh, oh wow, we really didn't do our research like I thought she was on, like the america's next comic. Wait, that's not, I'm mixing that was eliza schlesinger.

Marianna Barksdale:

Okay, I think she won that. You know what they both could have been on it, I feel like they were. Eliza won it, though, and Eliza's a little older than Taylor.

Nicole Swisher:

Because I feel like I remember Dusty Slate talking about it on the show.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh, I think he bombed on it. I went to see one of his shows at Zany's and he was doing a joke he did on the show.

Nicole Swisher:

The yeah, yeah, well, we both there, I feel like we were both there, we might have gotten together.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, oh my god, I don't know. It's so funny. Wow, that was a long time ago. I loved that fish joke. I still think about that fish joke all the time I'm like how did this not cry?

Nicole Swisher:

how did you not get it okay? Well, maybe we need to research and come back to this topic or yeah, I just I don't remember yeah but yeah, there's something coming on Netflix. Yeah. And she tried out at Zany's with some other people and she got on it.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, I heard she got a standing ovation at two minutes in to a five minute set which if you don't know how hard she's so funny Doing a five minute set is when you need to crush. Yeah, rush, yeah, but getting a standing ovation at two minutes, I, I mean, I've never seen that, not that I've been around like I've never seen it and it's amazing. I'm so blown away. But yeah, check out amber amber autry.

Marianna Barksdale:

I feel like amber autry fan club um I think we just kept saying amber we could just call this the amber autry fan club.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, she's great, yeah, okay, what else did I have? Oh, okay, I am really obsessed with the toast that we had. That was amazing. Okay, so, like, okay, here's how it started. So every time I go to an Airbnb, I can't use the toaster because I'm gluten-free, and I don't know like what's gotten up in there. So I started in the pan buttering up the toast and basically like toasting it like it's a uh grilled cheese.

Nicole Swisher:

Grilled cheese, I was gonna say something with cheese, grilled cheese sandwich, but without the cheese, and that toast tastes so much better. And then I took it to the next level and have now made these sandwiches, which I had it last night for dinner and it's like so then you melt the cheese on one of them and then you mix up, you know, make avocado, mush it up with cumin and salt, and then you take hummus, avocado, turkey and you mix it up, the cheese, and you put it all together and you cut it in triangle and you eat it. It's amazing. Also, I think it's good for you other than the bread and the butter.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't think bread and butter are bad for you, though it's like you don't like eat a ton of them, right? I don't know, I'm so. I'm so confused with food lately.

Nicole Swisher:

It tastes great situation is at this point.

Marianna Barksdale:

I think, yeah, me neither. I don't really care, I just eat healthy ish. That was the best sandwich I've ever had in my entire life. You ate in front of me yeah, and I ate in front of you, which is like no idea this was such a milestone. So now I'm like, yeah, I'm glad we have this documented well, that's what 15 years of however long I was anorexic will do to you. You just don't like eating in front of people.

Nicole Swisher:

That makes sense yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

But oh, that sandwich was so good. I think about it once a day.

Nicole Swisher:

I mean, I had it last night because I was thinking about it.

Marianna Barksdale:

I want to make it. I feel like I can't. I don't have the bread. I need to go to Little Rock.

Nicole Swisher:

I know, and I'm almost out of my Dempsey bakery bread because I've been eating it. Okay, there's this bakery in Little Rock, so little known secret about Little Rock excellent food, really good food there's not like a huge selection, but the selection is so good and they have this bakery Dempsey Bakery gluten-free. I think it's probably like nut-free dairy-free too or something Nice. And.

Nicole Swisher:

I used to go there all the time. When I lived there and I would do my long run I was training for a marathon before I got hurt and then I'd go to the bakery and I'd have this like pastry of some sort, savory pastry oh, it was fabulous.

Nicole Swisher:

But they make this gluten-free bread and it is so good and I meant to look and see if I can get it delivered, which I bet I can't. But I feel like I'm gonna go to little rock now and just like come back with like a cooler full of this bread yeah, oh, it was so good.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't even like I don't know what gluten free means, and I don't know what gluten is and, um, I don't know like this is something you would know I should know probably it's basically wheat okay, but, like then, I feel like everything is like listed okay. I feel like what they did with branding, though, is they're like this is gluten-free, that is gluten-free, and I'm just like was there gluten in it before?

Nicole Swisher:

oh it's hidden, it's in gravy okay, it's in some yogurts. Yes, it's hidden in stuff and it's like the binding agent.

Marianna Barksdale:

Okay so it's just like in stuff. Oh you know what? Yeah, this is probably in my list of things I can eat because of the migraines.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, probably.

Marianna Barksdale:

Because like maltodextrin, all those things, it's in like crystal white and like any drink powders, any seasoning salts, all that. So I have to use really, really natural stuff, I bet.

Nicole Swisher:

I bet I'm gluten free and I don't even know it.

Marianna Barksdale:

Probably you're like part of the cool kids club. Now are you? Yeah, I like to remind people.

Nicole Swisher:

I'm like. I've been gluten free for like I don't know 15 years almost now like I was.

Marianna Barksdale:

For the record, I was the first no, my sister-in-law was the first.

Nicole Swisher:

Then I followed because I was like wait, what were your symptoms? Yeah, that's literally how I figured it out. I was like, oh, but that happens to me too. Oh, wow, what are the symptoms? Thank you, katie.

Marianna Barksdale:

Do I have?

Nicole Swisher:

it? Do you have it? Your stomach hurts a lot.

Marianna Barksdale:

No.

Nicole Swisher:

Headaches.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh well.

Nicole Swisher:

Lethargic. Oh okay, all of these things, yeah, so like a lot of people have, because like it causes inflammation in people anyway, like weed and stuff, and so like a lot of people have some some reaction. Yeah it's just kind of. Is it like actual gluten intolerance, where like if I ate something I'd get real sick, or is it just like it inflames you like all the food we eat?

Marianna Barksdale:

oh yeah like everything kind of does well that's like that book I read good energy, it's everything. Everything is, uh, inflammatory, basically like I can't even remember if it was like lights or inflammatory to you. But lights no, that's another book I read it was about sleeping and it wasn't about inflammation. It was about just you're not supposed to have like light around you yeah, like that can, because it like messes with your circadian rhythm. Yeah.

Nicole Swisher:

I've heard of this.

Marianna Barksdale:

I got a nice dim house. It's real dim. Also nice when you're like looking at yourself in the mirror and you're just like, oh gorgeous. I just like my self-esteem has gone through the roof lately because I just like can't see myself very well at my house.

Marianna Barksdale:

Half the light bulbs in my bedroom and in my bathroom are out and I'm like I kind of like it at this level it's it was from laziness, but now I'm like it's kind of nice, yeah, so I just get these dim flickering bulbs that look like flames and, like the whole house, just looks like a dungeon at night it's. And then I have those pink salt lamps I told you about.

Nicole Swisher:

Well, you have them yeah, you don't turn them on.

Marianna Barksdale:

It looks like hell but like a nice hell, like a cozy house nice and everything's got fur all over it, not like cat fur, but like uh, fur throws and stuff, so like I just need everything to be yeah textury. I have to. I'm like a very tactile person interesting yeah, if there's ever a furry blanket around me, I will be, for I will be as you pet somebody if somebody's wearing a fur jacket around me, I'm just like also am I hearing a woo truck out there a woo truck, a party buzz.

Nicole Swisher:

I feel like I'm hearing them and I'm like it's like 11, 30 and they're already starting jump on that.

Marianna Barksdale:

That was that party tractor outside yeah yeah, remember what it said. I meant to take a picture of it uh, something pull yeah I don't know.

Nicole Swisher:

I don't know yeah, I looked at it, there's a party tractor outside well, I think the thing is right over here, like the, I want to say office, but I feel like they wouldn't have an office I bet they do have an office. It's probably I mean, I heard about the person who started it and I was honestly thinking like wouldn't that be an interesting podcast? Like why did you start this?

Marianna Barksdale:

you should, totally do, you should take responsibility for what you've done oh, my god, I think that'd be interesting yeah, although I do have a friend who used to be a uh guide on one of those and she was just like I mean it does pay well, people tip you well and like it's fun. I mean it's people on vacation. Like my thing is I don't know why everybody gets so mad at all these like happy people on vacation.

Marianna Barksdale:

I'm like I just take their energy and leave yeah, no, it's fine like I just stay away, it's fine recharge like a, like a crystal in the moonlight, and then I go home there's so many of them here, um, okay, okay, we should get to irrational fears.

Nicole Swisher:

Yes, okay, I have a couple of reddit things that I screenshotted. I'm finding them on my phone really fast. I made an album because things I'm doing okay, all right, I'm gonna okay, oh it's. Do you ever just find out stuff about your phone and you're like I didn't know it did that? That's like every day my nine-year-old nephew taught me that you can screen share on facetime.

Marianna Barksdale:

I didn't know that I don't use facetime, but that's good to know.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, I don't want people to see me when they call me yeah, I only do that with him, and then he like shows me the weather here he called the other day and he was like are you getting thunderstorms in 10 minutes? I was like probably. Oh, I love him, and then I did. That's sweet, yeah, yeah, okay. Irrational fears. Mother effing cows, cows, they're black, soulless eyes and they're absolutely empty brains. Ugh, it's near immobilizing, oh.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't like that person.

Nicole Swisher:

Cows are so beautiful, wonderful. Okay, I didn't expect you to get so sad about that. I love cows. Have you been to the Gentle Barn?

Marianna Barksdale:

No, not yet I will go oh they're so sweet, the cows like you can like, pet them. It will make me vegan.

Nicole Swisher:

Okay, harriet Tubman. Ever since I learned she hid in people's houses on underground railroad when she when I was in second grade, I've been terrified that she's in my attic she okay, also, she's dead. That's insane, that's actually irrational, so maybe somebody else?

Marianna Barksdale:

uh, they should look up frogging okay, you were telling me, yeah right yeah, there's a great horror movie about frogging oh my gosh, I can't watch that don't? Yeah, no, I can't remember what it's called, but it was great.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, I like horrific horror movies so, yeah, we were going to share some irrational fears yeah, what's your rational fears?

Nicole Swisher:

okay. So I I'm really scared of like deep water, even in pools, because I like imagine there's just going to be like something down there. And so like I used to be on the swim team in high school and I got real fast because I would go really fast in the deep end because I was scared something was going to be there. And then one day they found a dead mouse in the pool and it just like confirmed all these fears. So like I check pools before I get in them and like I don't like swimming in lakes because you can't see what's down there and something could just like come up and get you.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, oh, you should not swim in the Tennessee Valley Lake.

Nicole Swisher:

Why.

Marianna Barksdale:

The one that's. It runs in Florence, Alabama, where I'm from. People have said that there are fish the size of cars down there because of the radiation from browns ferry well, do we think anyone should be swimming in there then? No, nobody should be actually most of my, I mean most of the people I grew up with. Their parents are also from the same area yeah everyone has cancer.

Marianna Barksdale:

Everyone has cancer and it is just like they're like yeah well, we grew up swimming in the lake. That's crazy, but it's scary. I didn't get to. I didn't swim in it a lot, but I did you need to detox this is not an irrational fear at all.

Nicole Swisher:

I feel like that's a very rational I think yeah, I think the pool thing gets a little aggressive sometimes, because I'll just be like in a pool and then I'll like panic and get out for no reason.

Marianna Barksdale:

I'm talking about like a pool that you can't see the bottom no, I'm talking about a pool. Thank you for trying well, I feel like I don't like when people have those this was old school the dark liners.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh yeah, my friend had this super cool house. As a kid I did not appreciate it, but they had this awesome house in the woods but their pool was like dark, dark green on the bottom, just like the color of it, so you couldn't see. And every time I got in that pool there was a frog or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's always something in the pool and you're just like this isn't relaxing. No, but there were trees all over it. Now, as an adult, I'm like, yeah, of course there was stuff always in the pool, because both their parents worked.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh my gosh, who could take care of, who has time to take care of a pool? Yeah, we had like an above ground pool, but it was really small and so like my mom would take care of and she like enjoyed that. But like the big ones, I think are really hard.

Marianna Barksdale:

So yeah, you don't know what's in there.

Nicole Swisher:

No I just uh, yeah chemicals, water yeah, yeah, I like like the creek, like kayaking around here, like I'm okay with that, in like the creeks because it's like you can see, you can step in it, like it's totally fine. It's just really like the water where it's like I'd have to get to the side as fast as possible aha, well that's, that's actually kind of a good fear, because then you like kick fast and you swim fast.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, it's like good you.

Nicole Swisher:

I quit the swim team after that. It was too cold.

Marianna Barksdale:

I was on swim team too. Were you really yeah. I was a state champion in breaststroke.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh my gosh, yeah, I could not do the breaststroke.

Marianna Barksdale:

That was the only one I could do.

Nicole Swisher:

I was really bad at everything. My feet wouldn't bend right oh.

Marianna Barksdale:

Weird feet. I got real bendy. I don't my feet bendy. I can basically do that with my feet like like collapse them on top of each other. They're, but from ballet they're all broken. They're all broken, okay.

Nicole Swisher:

Another reason I'm getting used to finally wearing sandals this year, as you can see from this, from the sandal, but I'm also weird about people seeing my feet okay, I've seen your feet yeah, well, I'm working on it okay, great, that's why you have friendships yeah, get out of all your weird proclivities okay, here's my next irrational fear, but again I feel like it's based in reality. So what is irrational fear like?

Marianna Barksdale:

is it like it? Could never, ever happen or is it like the likelihood it couldn't I feel like tubman is a really irrational. Okay, that one's irrational because?

Nicole Swisher:

but if you took it and were like there's just somebody? Yeah, that's rational yeah um, so this one, I I'm always afraid that you know, like when shower curtains, if they're closed, I'm afraid there's somebody behind them.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh yeah and so every time I use someone's bathroom that has one, I check. And so when I like get to the airbnbs or something I like, I go around and I check literally under every bed, I check the closets, and I do it in a certain order to make sure that somebody couldn't like sneak out behind me yeah and then I make sure to check behind the shower curtain genius.

Marianna Barksdale:

Every woman should do that. This should be a step-by-step guide for women, especially traveling alone. I'm the same way even for a hotel room. I check behind the curtains. I get so nervous. I actually stayed in a hotel room the other day and it was definitely the employee smoking room, I know, and I was just like because, like an employee, follow almost followed me into the room and then and then there were no pillows on the bed.

Nicole Swisher:

It was like very bare bones and I was like this is where they come and smoke cigarettes out the window are you the person who would go and be like I need a different room, or do you just like take it?

Marianna Barksdale:

I should have, because I accidentally got like an ADA room, like an accessible room, which is no big deal, but it was just like it's set up kind of weird and it was just clearly not used or like taken care of the same way as other rooms. So I wish I had asked for another room, but I didn't I usually.

Nicole Swisher:

I don't think I ever have yeah, I'm always like. I don't want to like make it difficult for anyone I know but sometimes you just have to do it like, yeah, if it was like a smoking thing I probably would, because I'd wake up like not feeling good oh yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

well, if I, if it was like last night I went into this bar to do a show and it was just a bar where people used to smoke and I was like I couldn't do it. They would have been smoking out the window, though, because the window opened, which was weird.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

So maybe it had to do with the accessibility thing, so you could jump out the window if you are in a wheelchair and catch us on fire, I don't know.

Nicole Swisher:

I never thought about that, but you were right, catch us on fire.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't know, I never thought about that, but you were right.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh what. I was going to ask you what your irrational fears are.

Marianna Barksdale:

Can I make a comment? You can do whatever you want your irrational fears real quick. Yes, okay. So Josh got a six-foot-tall Undertaker cutout and he put it in our shower. Oh my gosh, we have like this, like this six foot eight wrestler cut out.

Nicole Swisher:

it's like a real person standing there, just like the undertaker the scariest guy just standing in the one of our showers all the time uh, we had a cutout, you know of captainarrow from the theater.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah.

Nicole Swisher:

My sister got one because she was obsessed and we put it in the shower and the dog freaked out.

Marianna Barksdale:

The cats do not like the shower, honestly, but yeah, but it is kind of irrational. I'm always worried my ribs are going to pop out of place. Can they do that? I don't know my floating ribs. I'm always like, if I like, laugh too hard or like sit weird. I feel like my, I feel like my ribs are gonna pop out of my, my skin.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh, I don't know why, dude, I don't want to take on your rational fear no, don't, just don't but I'm like, is that medically possible?

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't know. I have had somebody told me that it happened to them. I have had somebody told me that it happened to them, so I was like I bet it happens to me too.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh my gosh, you're like laughing. Just hold tight, mariana.

Marianna Barksdale:

Well, a lot of the times when I am like laughing, it happens at work more than anything, because I'll be sitting in like these weird. I'm never comfortable, you know. And so it'll always be like just kind of jumping, just trying to keep it all, keep it all in, but it seems irrational it does, but now I'm definitely gonna look into it yeah I'm like what do you?

Nicole Swisher:

I don't know what do you have to do to prevent this I don't know.

Marianna Barksdale:

I hope it's core exercises, because I do a lot of pilates, yeah, yeah, but it doesn't get any better. I just still just jumping. I know I have more irrational fears, but I feel like they're too weird my, okay, my recent obsession, oh yeah, is raw goat milk yes it is so good but I love. I love that you own part of a goat.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, because it's illegal otherwise and you're just admitting that to everybody it's legal the way it's done, like it's a farm share or whatever, so I own part of a goat. It's fine. This is amazing. It's really good.

Marianna Barksdale:

What is it? What's the difference between it? Why is it healthier?

Nicole Swisher:

Don't ask me questions, oh no.

Marianna Barksdale:

No, I'm just kidding.

Nicole Swisher:

I'm so interested, like I think it's supposed to good enzymes or whatever.

Marianna Barksdale:

Cool.

Nicole Swisher:

Bacteria type of thing. Love goat cheese I actually listened and looked into this. It's just that my brain decides not to keep that type of thing because it's like we need to be able to work.

Marianna Barksdale:

It's like you're like okay, checked that box, it's healthy, we're good. And now.

Nicole Swisher:

I don't need that information because I'm not trying to get other people to drink raw goat milk. I'll to drink raw goat milk, but it makes really good chai tea latte.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh, I will drink it.

Nicole Swisher:

Oh, my God yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

I want to own part of a goat.

Nicole Swisher:

I can show you how. Okay, yeah, do you have anything you've been like obsessing over lately?

Marianna Barksdale:

Yes, I actually have two things that I've been obsessing over. Oh sure, one is a book series that I cannot put down, and it is a romantic series. I think I know where you're going with this it is Akatar.

Nicole Swisher:

Yes, I knew you were going to say that.

Marianna Barksdale:

I cannot put this book down. And I'm on the third and I'm going to say book. I mean there's five and I'm on the third book and I'm reading them at a clip that is just untenable. I'm very upset that there's only five. If there were 35 I'd be happy.

Nicole Swisher:

And they're all done it's like done at five or more coming out. I hope there's more, but we'll see. I don't know. I don't want to talk to anybody who knows about it. Yeah, I could. It's so good. I took a romance novel writing class and they were like all talking about it. I was like what is happening, because it's not like I don't really read. Sometimes I read romance but they're more like kitschy, like dumb romance where I'm like like bored, yeah, and they were like talking about it and I was like I don't know what's happening.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, and then I did try to. I couldn't listen to it.

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh.

Nicole Swisher:

I don't.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't like listening to romance novels, because one I don't ever like their voices. They're never, they're always like kind of weird and like it's not what I want. And also I need to picture everybody. I have to picture it all in my head because it's so much more real, because I have like a very rich inner world yeah and I feel like it all lights up really good.

Marianna Barksdale:

But yeah, that's so good. It's a court of thorn and roses. If you don't know what akatar means, because I didn't- I did not know that for the longest time. Yeah, I'd heard it saying I know I like. Why have I not heard of the word ACOTAR? What does it mean? A court of thorn and roses, but I'm on like a court of mist and fury or something. Now it's like the third one.

Nicole Swisher:

What's your other obsession? Because I do it too.

Marianna Barksdale:

The show. Well, there's two shows, okay, sirens, which just came out on Thursday. I had a very slow week at work this week, wait how many episodes are there?

Nicole Swisher:

Five, oh my gosh. Okay, and you just watched it twice, okay where is it on Netflix? Netflix, okay, it's so good.

Marianna Barksdale:

I don't want to say anything about it, except I'm obsessed with the cast. All right, and the show Hacks if you have HBO Max.

Nicole Swisher:

I've been thinking about watching that. Yes, okay.

Marianna Barksdale:

It. I've been thinking about watching that. Yes, okay, it makes you want to do stand-up. I watch it when I'm going out to do stand-up because it gives me what I need to get in the right mindset to crush.

Nicole Swisher:

I like that, all right. Yeah, I feel like yeah, I'm like I'm looking at the clock, I'm like okay. We always could talk forever. Now I'm trying not to talk too much, okay, I?

Nicole Swisher:

I wanted to make a like recommendation yes and so lately I've been listening to this podcast mindful in minutes, and it is a meditation podcast and I really like it because it's like she does meditations for like certain things which I don't. I'm not like 100, sure. It's like like I get the ones for the morning, it's like wake up or whatever, and then like when you're tired and I would say like the when I was tired, one did kind of like wake me up, so I liked it, but it goes from like five minutes to 15 minutes and I love always having an option to do anything for five minutes yeah, but I really like it.

Nicole Swisher:

And then it turns out she's from minnesota, where I'm from, so yeah, that's fun. I've been really liking that I love that?

Marianna Barksdale:

yeah, that's a good recommendation, thank you yeah, what about you?

Nicole Swisher:

I feel, like you had. You had some books for us I have.

Marianna Barksdale:

I always have a visual element in my life. I've I read. Well, I'm not reading any self-help books this year at all, but I did read quite a few last year. That's why I'm not doing it. I don't know if you can see it codependent, no more yes, this book has changed my entire life.

Marianna Barksdale:

If you don't know what a codependent person is, you really need to learn and you need to cut them all out of your life. It's, I'm telling you the thing you were worrying about way too much. This split my. This gave me triple the energy in my life, because I realized I was trying to solve everyone else's problems I like that don't like the name but codependent, no more yeah, I don't know why.

Marianna Barksdale:

It just kind of sounds like sleep no more. But and another book. This is for anybody with narcissists in their family. It's not you, it's a identifying and healing from narcissistic people yeah, it's good because it just kind of again, if you have malignant narcissists in your life, first of all sorry, that's not fair. Second of all, you don't have to deal with them, and I needed a book to tell me that I.

Nicole Swisher:

I feel like you can know something, but then, when you like see it in writing, it's like oh this is real.

Marianna Barksdale:

But it gives you strategies and tools, which is what I like the most, because I don't like, just like here, feel better, you know.

Nicole Swisher:

Yeah, it has to be like an active it's kind of like the stress thing I was like stop telling me to not stress, Give me like the tools to do it.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, exactly, yeah, it's helpful yeah.

Nicole Swisher:

Cool. Well, I think we're going to wrap up. What are you? What are you looking forward to this week?

Marianna Barksdale:

Oh my God, having a long weekend. Honestly, yeah, just reading a lot Relaxing. I don't know I'm taking a, I'm not taking a break from stand-up, but I have a little break. So it's kind of nice because I like to just write, you know.

Nicole Swisher:

I feel like your brain needs to rest. Yeah, to like write. Yeah, mine does, maybe not everybody, but Mine does for six months so far and counting yeah.

Marianna Barksdale:

What about you? What are you doing this week?

Nicole Swisher:

I'm honestly looking forward to like having nothing planned on Monday, like I'm kind of thinking I'll finish like decluttering my garage, which every time I go into my garage I'm just like this side is all the things that need to be sold and like gotten rid of and I I want to make like a tiny little progress on that yeah and then I want to take a nap, yeah, so I love that like Memorial Day weekend, because I never have plans really.

Marianna Barksdale:

I know it great. I know it's too busy to make plans. It is, I know. I only know one person with a boat and he has a baby. So you're not taking that baby out on a boat, and if they are, I'm going with them.

Nicole Swisher:

Well, Marianne, thank you for being on the show today. This was very fun.

Marianna Barksdale:

Yeah, this was fun. Thank you for having me.

Nicole Swisher:

Yay, all right, and I don't really know how to wrap up. So thanks for watching. Bye, thanks for listening to my crunchy zen era. Please subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. This podcast is produced by me, nicole Swisher and my good friends Summer Harkup and Liz Coulter, editing is by Drew Harrison Media and recording is done by Lagos Creative in Nashville, tennessee. Thanks for hanging. We'll be back next week.